Free To Live, Free to Love
by brnkofeternity06
Summary: After the death of her parents, Bella is sent to live with her cousin. And after realizing that he can't take care of her everyday,he sends her to live with the Cullen family. Unable to speak clearly,Bella finds herself experiencing something new.Ch.20!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I can only call dibs on Scott because I created him. Other than him, everybody else belongs to the almighty Stephanie Meyer.**

_"Scott," Charlie groaned, "get her out of here."_

_ "No," I whispered, choking on the water that was pouring into the car from the surrounding water._

_ "Be good, Bells." Charlie, my dad, choked out. My mother, Renee, was lying limply in the passenger seat. The seat belt had cut into her torso and her head had crashed into the window, leaving a trail of blood on her pale skin. I knew immediately that the life had been gone from her body long before we began to sink into the river. Scott, my cousin, had been driving behind us. _

_ My dad hadn't seen the truck swerving into our lane, trying to stop. It careened towards us on the rainy roads as the thunderstorm poured up above. We were thrown across the bridge and into the water._

_ "Scott!" he screamed. The sound was hoarse, and filled with pain but he was determined._

_ "Dad, no-"_

_ "Scott!" he screamed again, ignoring my pleas. My eyes filled with tears as I looked at my father. He was falling apart at the seams yet he was holding onto his last breath in order to get me to safety. _

_ "Dad, I love you." I whispered._

_ "I love you too, Bells." he whispered smiling sadly at me. I felt my car door open, bringing in a torrent of water. I cried out in pain as arms wrapped around me. "Scott, take care of her. Promise." my dad whispered sternly as the water began to fill the car up. His shoulders slumped with exhaustion._

_ "No!" I cried through my tear-filled eyes._

_ "I promise, Uncle Charlie." Scott managed as he pulled me out of the car swiftly and into the dark waters that seemed to erase my tears. I kept my eyes open as Scott swam us up to the surface. The car sank deeper and deeper into the dark waters... with my parents in it._

_ My cries filled my lungs up with water and it wasn't long before I completely lost sight of the car in the dark waters. Scott managed to drag me to the shore of the water. I cried and coughed out trying to get over the shock. It's not possible._

_ "Come on, Bella. Stay with me." Scott's voice urged as he tried to help the water out of my body. My eyes started to droop closed as the sirens began to approach. "Come on, Bella. Don't give up."_

_ "Where are they?" I demanded as I looked around the room. The room was empty except for the nurse that was taking my vitals._

_ "Your cousin is outside, Miss Swan." she replied calmly, soothingly._

_ "Bella," Scott's voice was filled with relief as he entered the small hospital room. "How are you? Are you-"_

_ "Where are they?" I asked again._

_ "Bella, I'm so sorry." he whispered sitting next to my bed. My eyes widened and the sobs that shook my weak body weren't suppressed._

_ "No," I shook my head as the tears streamed down my cheeks._

"Bella. Bella, wake up." Scott's voice pulled me out of the daze of my vivid memories that haunted my sleep since it occurred.

"We're here. Welcome to Forks, Bells." he said smiling at me. I looked around at the scene of greenery and leaned against my seat, with a sigh.

A/N: In case there's any confusion out there, that wasn't only a dream that Bella woke up from. It was a memory. Scott's her older cousin. Bella is seventeen years old.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to Stephanie Meyer and nobody else.**

Chapter 2:

It had been a little over a year since my parents died. Scott, my cousin who was more like my older brother, was a little over twenty years old. He had been trying to care for me but it had been difficult. I had gone to see therapists, psychiatrists, and shrinks ever since I got out of the hospital. Scott was able to care for me for a while but he was also trying to maintain his job as the head of my dad's company, Swan Inc.

Dad's business partner, Carlisle Cullen, was the head of the medical department and was one of the greatest and most well known doctors in the country. He'd offered to let me live with his family and him while Scott took care of everything. Carlisle had also taken over my medical case. I'd been slipping in and out of sickness and always woke up crying at the break of dawn or earlier as the memories of _that night_ flooded my dreams.

I'd only been a little over sixteen when it happened. I was now seventeen and was moving to Forks, Washington with the Cullens. I was moving in with people that I hardly even knew. Carlisle talked to me about them so that I would know some stuff and out of politeness. Carlisle was one of the kindest people that I'd ever met. He had blond hair and hazel eyes.

His wife Esme and him had adopted children since they couldn't have any of their own. There were five of them- Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, and Edward.

I didn't resent Scott for anything. He'd been completely patient with me and had taken care of me for as long as he could but he had been forced to take on my dad's company as it was written in his will. They'd left everything to us, mostly me. But I was but seventeen years old.

"Come on, Bella." Scott said after getting my bags from the trunk of his car. He opened my door and helped me out of the car. I looked at him blankly.

"Do you need help?" I asked him, almost inaudibly. But he was always paying attention to me and making sure that he was always careful with me, that he caught it.

"Nah." he smiled. "I'm alright. Let's get you inside before it starts to rain." he said looking up at the gathering storm clouds. My eyes shot up to look at the clouds with blank eyes.

"Don't worry about it. You'll be driven to and from school." he assured me quickly. I didn't say anything. I hadn't driven in the rain since it happened. I couldn't bring myself to even go near a car whenever it was raining. It was understandable that I would be driven in Forks; it rained here every day, after all. But there was always the rare sunny day. It mostly remained cloudy so you would expect rain, though.

"Hello. You must be Scott." a soft voice tore me out of my stupor. I didn't even see or hear when Scott knocked on the door. I looked up and saw a stunning blond haired girl with azure blue eyes. "And Bella," she said smiling at me. "It's nice to meet you," she said extending her hand out to me. I looked at her blankly.

"You'll have to excuse her. Bella doesn't talk much." Scott said and shook her hand for me.

"It's fine. Come in. It's going to start to rain," she said ushering us in. I turned slightly and saw that she was right. The big fat rain droplets fell from the sky and hit the ground with a soft resounding sound. Scott tugged me in the house when I didn't move.

"I'm sorry. I didn't introduce myself. I'm Rosalie Hale," she said smiling at us, unfazed by my blank and unresponsive stare.

"I'm Scott. Bella's cousin and Carlisle's new business partner. It's a pleasure to meet you, Rosalie." Scott said smiling politely as he shook her hand. I watched the exchange with curious eyes before drifting back into my blank stare.

"I'll call everyone else. You can go ahead and set those down. Emmett and Jasper will help you." she said still smiling. I wondered how someone could smile so much. I admit that I didn't smile as much but I still smiled, sometimes forcing myself to do so. But there were times when my face would not cooperate.

"Thank you." Scott said smiling and looking relieved. I think I zoned out as I looked around the house. It was all very beautiful and the decor was classic yet modern. The room soon filled with Carlisle and five other people.

"Scott, Bella! It's so great that you managed to come safely." Carlisle said. He grabbed my hand softly and shook it before shaking Scott's hand. I looked at Carlisle before turning to look at Scott.

"We'll take your things up to your room. I'm Emmett by the way." a big guy said smiling at me.

"I'm Jasper. It's a pleasure to meet you," another blond said as he helped Emmett and Scott with my bags.

"I'm Alice!" a pixie girl squealed happily.

"I'm Edward," a bronze haired boy said smiling at me softly.

"Hello, dear. I'm Esme, Carlisle's wife," a young lady said smiling at me.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." I said almost inaudibly. They all looked at me confused.

"She's happy to meet you." Scott spoke up and they looked at him and nodded. "Come on, Bells." he said grabbing my hand gently and pulling me in the direction of the set of stairs where Jasper and Emmett were heading up to. He tugged me up the stairs until my feet robotically complied and scaled up the stairs.

"Well, this is your room." Jasper said smiling at me as he set the bags down near the foot of the huge bed. The room was in different shades of blue with white mixed in.

"Come on, Bella. It's time for me to go. You can get settled in soon." Scott said. I looked at him and nodded quietly. He led me down the stairs with Jasper and Emmett following us.

"Well, this is me. It was a pleasure to meet you all." Scott said as we arrived back in front of the door where the Cullens were still standing.

"Thank you for doing this, Carlisle." Scott said. He let me go momentarily and shared a hug with him before saying goodbye to all of them.

"Bella, you be careful. Don't do anything stupid." he said as he turned and hugged me. "Edward will be driving you to school. He's volunteered," he said smiling at me. I looked at him with expressionless eyes and nodded slightly. "Call me if you need anything." he said hugging me. He pulled away and kissed my forehead.

"Bye." he said looking at me worried before smiling encouragingly at me. I didn't respond and simply watched him leave. I stood there and watched as he closed the door and heard the car's engine purr outside before hearing him drive away.

I don't know how long I stood there but Carlisle's voice tore me out of my stupor.

"Bella, come on over and eat." he said smiling softly at me. I turned to him and followed him into the dining room where the table was set up. I noticed that the plates at the table were half-eaten. I figured out that we'd come while they'd been eating.

A full plate of food was set in front of me by a smiling Esme. They all sat at the table and seemed to talk quietly as I ate slowly. I didn't finish my food as always and eventually gazed at the wall over Emmett's head; he was sitting across from me.

"Are you finished with your food, Bella?" Alice asked me. My gaze flickered in the direction that her voice had come from. I looked at her for a moment before nodding.

"I can take my plate if you'd direct me towards the kitchen." I whispered softly. She looked at me with a look of concentration.

"I'll take your plate. Don't worry about it," she said standing up and picking up my plate and walking out of the room. Unsure of what else to do, I stood up and quietly excused myself from the table before walking out of the room.

I walked up the stairs, taking them one at a time and going slowly. I managed to remember the path to my new room. Collapsing on my bed, I let myself fall asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: No copyright infringement intended. Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer, its rightful owner and author.**

Chapter 3:

I woke up in a cold sweat and gasping for air in my bed. The feeling of my innards clenching in pain at the memory sent me running to the bathroom that was in my room. The food that I'd eaten only hours before had managed to come up for a visit. I leaned over the toilet seat and set my hair to the side as I hunched over it. Tears streamed down my face and I sighed.

"Bella? Bella, are you alright?" Alice's worried voice drifted into the small room as I collapsed on the cold floor of the bathroom in exhaustion. "Bella!" she cried.

I heard her footsteps as she rushed to me. Her hands fluttered over my limp body as she tried to help me up. I sagged against her as she tried to help me out of the room. She tugged me into my room and my feet robotically followed her lead. She managed to lay me down on my bed before I completely collapsed. My world faded to black and I didn't fight it.

My eyes opened to see light filtering into my room. I weakly sat up just as Carlisle entered the room.

"How are you feeling?" he asked me as he rushed towards me. I looked at him tiredly and he nodded in understanding. "It's been two days since you were found by Alice. You gave her quite a scare," he said chuckling.

"School." I whispered and was thankful that he caught it.

"Don't worry about it. You'll be going in tomorrow if you're up to it." he assured me. "Scott told me that you've already finished up your P.E. requirement so you don't have to worry about that." he assured me. I smiled thankfully, weakly at him.

"Oh, Bella." Esme's voice sounded relieved. "Are you feeling better? Are you hungry?" she asked me kindly.

"A bit hungry." I whispered quietly. She smiled and nodded before rushing out of the room and smiling at Carlisle.

Carlisle told me that my body had shut itself down for a time and had also taken time to recuperate so that when I woke up I would be a bit tired. He'd told me this many times before so it was no news to me. It was around three in the afternoon, which meant that Alice, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper would be coming home from school already.

My thoughts were confirmed when I heard voices downstairs just as Esme brought up some food for me.

"Thank you." I whispered. She smiled and left the room. I didn't really pay attention to the food as I ate it and simply stared at it until I decided that I was finished. The plate was only three fourths finished and Carlisle seemed pleased as he took my plate and left the room after concluding that I wasn't going to eat anymore. I looked out the window looking at the sun that was being partially hidden behind some rain clouds.

"Bella! You're awake." Alice's voice startled me. I turned to look at her and my eyes widened in surprised when she threw her arms around me and hugged me. "I was so worried," she said looking at me worried.

"Why?" I whispered.

"Because you scared me crapless!" she said wide-eyed. I looked at her before laughing. I felt weak but I couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked me softly. I nodded slightly.

"I had a feeling that you would wake up today. But Edward," she threw a glare over her shoulder, "wouldn't drive any faster." She huffed.

It wasn't until then that I noticed the rest of them crowded at the door. Edward was looking at me intently as Alice huffed again.

"Edward, did you hear me?" she said turning to look at him. His eyes snapped away from me and turned to her.

"I was already going past eighty five on the roads!" he defended himself. I looked at them and shook my head, sighing amused.

"You could've gone faster." she whined.

"Alice, don't you have something for Bella?" Rosalie cut in.

"Oh, yeah!" she cried turning back to face me. "I picked up your schedule. And since you're in the same grade as Edward and me, you have your classes with either both of us or one of us but you have history with Jasper. Carlisle took care of that," she said taking a paper out of her pocket and setting it in my lap.

_Name: Isabella Marie Swan_

_D.O.B.: 09-13-91_

_1st Period - AP U.S. History_

_2nd Period - English Literature A_

_3rd Period - Honors Pre-Calculus_

_4th Period - Study Hall_

_5th Period - Biology_

_6th Period - Music/ Choir_

"Music?" my eyes darted up to Alice in question. I hadn't touched my violin or cello in a while. There was no inspiration. And how could I sing if I could barely talk above a whisper?

"Yeah. You're in that with me." Edward said looking at me curiously. "Scott told Carlisle that you played two instruments-"

I shook my head. "I haven't. I-"

"You haven't played in a few months." Alice said knowingly, softly. "What instruments do you play?" she asked me smiling.

"The violin and cello." I whispered looking down at the paper again. "Do you have to be experienced in order to be in that class?"

"Yeah." Emmett answered.

"Then what do you play?" I asked Edward quietly.

"Piano." he responded. "I have my own so that I can practice."

"Do you have your own instruments, Bella?" Rosalie asked me curiously.

I nodded. "They're in the closet." I whispered.

"Can I see them?" Jasper asked me. I looked at him and nodded slightly. I leaned back against the pillows that Esme had fixed behind me to make me more comfortable. I closed my eyes, tiredly and sighed softly.

I heard shuffling and the sound of a case snapping open. A gasp sounded and I looked over to where Emmett and Jasper were looking at my cello in awe. It was shiny and looked to be brand new... or taken very well care of. Rosalie carefully took out my violin from its case and looked at it with a longing in her eyes.

"Do you play, Rosalie?" I asked quietly. She looked up at me and smiled, nodding.

"Only the violin, though." she said softly gazing at the instrument.

"I wish I could play again." I whispered.

"You can't play anymore?" Emmett asked confused.

"There's no inspiration." I sighed softly.

"So you'll sing in class then." Edward said shrugging. I laughed humorlessly.

"I can barely talk. You expect me to sing, Edward?" I asked him quietly.

"Then raise your voice," he challenged.

"There's no point." I shot at him. I felt blood rush to my cheeks as we looked at each other daringly before I let my gaze turn blank. I looked away from him and let myself sag in my bed, feeling exhausted again.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Alice asked me worried.

"Tired." I managed to whisper but it was more like I was mouthing it. She nodded and tucked me into my bed, taking my schedule and putting on the night table. She had Jasper and Rosalie put my instruments back in their cases and into the closet.

"I'll call Carlisle." Rosalie said leaving the room as I felt myself begin to drift off.

A low humming sounded faintly. Voices.

"...in bed. She said that she's tired."

"I'm sure that she's just fine. Her body is weak with exhaustion. It's just...."

"...why can't she speak?"

"...lungs were affected... too much water... accident of that day..."

"...leaving something out... what is it?"

"...she blocks herself out... she's slowly shutting down... and her body is weakening... passing day... she's giving up."

"...dying?... How is she dying?... she's... so young."

I let myself fall into the darkness, wanting to just relax.

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**A/N: Thnx for being patient with me. I hope u enjoyed readin. Il update next week. ^_^**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thnx for waitin for me and puttin up with all of this. Im glad to be able to put this chapter up.**

**Disclaimer: All belongs to Meyer. Save for Scott. He's mine! hehe  
**

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Chapter 4:

The next day, Carlisle had concluded that I was well enough to go to school. I ate some breakfast and when I tried to carry my bag, Edward took it from me. He told me that he would basically be with me the entire day so he would hear none of my protests. Alice helped me into Edward's silver Volvo; I sat in the passenger seat. The rest of them crowded in the back; Rosalie (who insisted that I call her Rose) was sitting in between Emmett and Jasper and Alice was sitting in Jasper's lap, in the backseat.

"How are you feeling today, Bella?" Rose asked me as Edward drove us to school. Forks High School.

"Nervous." I whispered. "I haven't really been to school lately." I confessed.

"Why?" Emmett asked earning a smack from Rose and Alice. He hissed in pain and whined.

"You don't have to answer that, Bella." Jasper assured me. I smiled weakly. _Why? Therapy. Hospitals. And traveling with Scott in order to find some doctors to help me and find somewhere for us to live. _I thought.

"We're here." Edward said and grabbed my backpack from Emmett who had been carrying it. I looked around the parking lot as Jasper helped me out of the car gently. I vaguely wondered why they were being so kind and gentle. Yesterday seemed so vague to me and I couldn't quite recall everything as I drifted to sleep, succumbing to my weak body's urge.

There were kids all around the parking lot gathered in groups. For a moment, I forgot what high school had been like. I had actually been homeschooled on the days that I was feeling better. Scott and I knew that I was dying. And I wasn't fighting it. I just didn't want to. There was no reason.

The students in the parking lot looked at me as Jasper led me to my first class, taking my backpack from Edward. I had my first period with Jasper.

"Don't be nervous, Bella. I'm sure that it'll be fine. Just ignore everyone else." Jasper said. His words had this calming effect on me, making me relax. The nervous feelings from before were gone and I managed to keep up my pace with his steady one.

I didn't realize when we stepped into the class and Jasper quietly introduced me to the teacher, Mr. Yourman, who was a very caring, strict man. He had me sit next to Jasper at his request which I was thankful for. He told me that if I had any questions then I could tell Jasper to ask him since he realized that I didn't speak with volume.

The class filed in and immediately commenced. When the students gave me curious glances and Jasper's former partner, the former occupant of my new seat, inquired as to why I was in his seat, Mr. Yourman introduced me to the class and assigned the student a new seat. I realized that Jasper was very good at this class and was literally in his A-game whenever a question was inquired. He was immediately the first one to raise his hand or he'd get in trouble for calling the answer out.

"Miss Swan, can you name one of the most bloodiest battles in the Civil War?" 's voice took me out of my stupor. I looked at him and lightly cleared my throat, noticing that Jasper already had his hand raised in the air.

"Gettysburg." I whispered.

"Good. At least we have another _cooperating_ student besides Mr. Hale." he said smiling. Jasper was looking at me wide eyed as were the other students in the class.

"But she didn't say anything!" a student exclaimed.

"What was the answer?" another inquired taking notes.

"Gettysburg. And if you hadn't been talking then you would've heard Miss Swan." Mr. Yourman said exasperated. Jasper chuckled and I smiled slightly.

When class ended, Jasper escorted me to my English class where Alice was bouncing excitedly at the door, waiting for us. She smiled brightly when she saw us and took my backpack from Jasper.

"Bye Jazzy," she said throwing a blow kiss at him. He grinned and pretended to catch it and pocket it before walking away making her giggle. "Come on, Bella! We need to get you inside class." she exclaimed, gently grabbing my hand. She tugged me into the class room which was half filled by students already. Alice introduced me to the teacher, Ms. Alchev, exuberantly.

"You can sit there, Miss Swan." she said pointing to a seat in the middle section.

"But Ms. Alchev," Alice said quickly, "can't Bella sit next to me?"

"No, Alice. Miss Swan can handle herself quite well, correct?" she asked turning to me. Alice pouted but she didn't budge and looked at me, searching for a protest. I opened my mouth to tell her that I would prefer to sit next to Alice but no sound would come out. I looked to Alice but I saw her being dragged away by someone else. I sighed softly and went to my seat.

"Alright, class. Let's begin." Ms. Alchev called the class to attention. "Now we have a new student. I'd like you all to welcome Isabella."

I felt all eyes turn to me but I paid no attention as I looked at Alice who was looking at me worried. I was startled when the door to the class room slammed open.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Edward walked in the class room and smiled apologetically at Ms. Alchev who was glaring at him and shaking her head in disapproval. I swear that I heard some girls swoon!

"I'm so glad that you could join us, Mr. Cullen. Please take your assigned seat." she said. He nodded and started walking in my direction. He seemed startled but pleased(?) to see me as he took the empty seat next to me at the desk.

"Hey, partner." he whispered. I nodded in acknowledgement and he chuckled.

"Mr. Cullen, Miss Swan! Would you care to pay attention?" Ms. Alchev snapped at us.

"Of course. Please continue." Edward said smoothly. She huffed.

"Take out your notebooks and begin copying what's on the board." she said to all of us. I gasped quietly when I realized that Alice still had my backpack. Edward looked at me questioningly when I shared a glance with Alice who was looking at me apologetically.

"What?" Edward whispered as I looked at my desk. I quietly motioned that I had nothing to take notes with and no notebook. He looked at Alice and sighed before taking out a piece of paper from his folder and a pen before sliding them over to me. I sent him a thankful glance and began to write notes but was interrupted.

"Miss Swan, did you come unprepared to my class?" Ms. Alchev's voice sneered at me from across the room. I looked up at her. "Well, did you?" she asked crossing her arms in front of her chest. I opened my mouth to respond but my answer was barely audible.

"Speak up." she snapped, glaring at me.

"She can't-" Alice started to she cut her off with a raised hand.

"I wasn't speaking to you, Miss Cullen. Miss Swan, answer me." she demanded. I opened my mouth again to anwer but it was barely audible once again. My frustration was overwhelming and my hands weakly clenched on top of the table as I tried to add volume to my voice. But this time, no sound came out.

"Detention, Miss Swan. For being defiant and disrupting my class." she said angrily as she turned to the board. I looked at her wide eyed and tried to protest. I felt the bile rising and I stood abruptly, toppling over the chair.

I ran out of the room, ignoring her angry calls as I rushed to find a bathroom. I managed to find one around the corner and slammed the door open before rushing to a stall and heaving over the toilet seat. Tears pooled in my eyes and fell as I heaved once again. I coughed and sighed as I wiped my mouth with toilet paper and flushed the toilet as I heard the bathroom door slam open followed by the sound of Alice's frantic calls.

"Bella, are you here? Ah," she stuttered, "stomp your foot if you are."

I stomped my foot weakly and she rushed into my stall before rushing to me. "Are you alright?" she asked worried.

I nodded, sighing softly. She looked at me and glared. "I swear, that woman can be so unreasonable!" she bit out angrily. "I mean, a detention for _defiance_ and _disrupting_ the class? What the hell is that about?" she ranted.

"Don't worry. I'll get you out of there." she assured me and got a thoughtful look on her face. I leaned against the wall and looked at her. Alice was a very energetic person with green eyes like Edward but she had inky black hair that was spiky and short. Edward's hair was tousled and there was usually a strand of hair that hung in front of his eyes.

Alice helped me clean my face up. I was thankful that none of my vomit had gotten on my clothes, hair, or face. Alice managed to add some color to my face with some makeup. I didn't protest and let her have her fun.

"We're ditching that class. Edward has our things and is waiting for us in the Volvo until the class ends." she told me as she tugged me in the direction of the parking lot. I looked at her questioningly.

"Don't give me that look. Do you think we're going back just so that she can yell at you more? I don't think so. I'm telling Carlisle about this." she said heatedly. "If you think for one minute that we'd feed you to the dogs then you have something else coming, Bella. We're your friends and friends don't do that to each other." she said.

"Well, actually I know this for a fact." she said smiling brightly at me. I raised an eyebrow at her. "_We're_ going to be bestest friends ever; me and you. So we might as well start now. Hello, I'm Mary Alice Masen Cullen but I prefer to be called Alice." she said and shook my hand with a bright smile on her face. I looked at her and opened my mouth to introduce myself but no sound came out. "And I honestly could care less if you can't talk. We're best friends and that's final." she said sternly. I smiled and she giggled. "Good. We understand each other."

"Are you guys ever getting in the car?" Edward's voice startled me. I turned and smiled at him. I was startled when he smiled back. The smile reached his eyes and he looked at me with this intensity that left me feeling glad that I was holding onto Alice.

"We're going, we're going." Alice said rolling her eyes making him chuckle.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Edward asked me as Alice helped me inside the Volvo before getting in the backseat herself.

"Hold that thought, Bella. I have a whiteboard, markers, and an eraser that we can use." Alice said shoving the items at me. I smiled at her thankfully and began to write on the white board.

_I'm feeling better. Thanks._

"I'm glad to hear that." Edward said smiling and looking relieved. I turned in my seat and looked at Alice before writing on the white board.

_As for earlier, Alice... Hello, my name is Isabella Marie Swan. But I prefer to be called Bella._

Alice grinned when she read it and squealed before grabbing the board from me. She grabbed a marker and began to write as well.

_I'm very happy to meet you Bella. I am so excited to have you as my best friend. And I would gladly appreciate it if Edward would stop reading this._

I glanced at Edward in time to see him look away after glaring at Alice who glared right back. He blushed when he caught my gaze and I smiled a small smile.

"Nosy." Alice muttered.

"I was not being nosy," Edward defended himself. "I was merely curious as to what you two were talking about."

"Bella, who do you agree with?" they asked me suddenly. I grabbed the board from Alice quickly.

_I am Switzerland._

They read it and laughed before nodding. I looked outside and saw students piling out of their classes and into the halls rushing to go to their next class. Edward and Alice noticed this as well and we decided to head back so we could get to our next class.

Pre-Calculus was spent listening to Mr.O'Grady's lecture about how he wanted to help us. Alice quickly fell asleep beside me and it seemed that this wasn't unusual since the teacher's eyes ignored her. When class ended I woke her up and we met Edward outside of class. He walked with me to Study Hall. We had that period together and Alice had P.E.

I seemed to receive glares from every girl in the room when we entered the library. Edward led me to a table and we sat in silence before my eyes began to drift towards the stacks of books.

"Would you like to see them?" Edward's voice seemed to snap me out of my daze. I turned to him and smiled before shaking my head. He looked at me confused.

I mouthed 'impose' to him and he immediately understood that I didn't want to trouble him. He chuckled and lead me to the stacks of books assuring me that it was no problem and that I wasn't imposing.

"Which books are your favorites?" he asked me as I looked around through the mystery section. I grabbed his hand and walked slowly towards where I had seen the row of books earlier.

"The classics?" he asked smirking. "What's so great about them?"

I opened my mouth to retort but remembered that I could barely rise my voice over a whisper before closing my mouth. I didn't want to look into his eyes to see the same pity that everyone gave me. I looked back at the books and grabbed Pride and Prejudice before looking at him meaningfully.

Edward checked the book out for me before the period was over and apologized for earlier. I was relieved to find that we had lunch next. I didn't want another teacher to raise their voice demanding that I raise my own. Scott usually prevented these things from happening whenever we traveled. He made sure that no one forced me to do anything.

"Come on. The food's over here." Edward said grabbing my hand and leading me towards a line that was quickly forming as the students piled into the cafeteria. "We're going to be sitting with everyone else." he told me as he gestured towards a table where the rest of his siblings were. I nodded.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all save for Scott and the story line.**

**Without further ado, the story:**

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Chapter 6:

Edward bought my lunch for me against my silent protests. He led me to the table and I fell in step with him. Alice carefully pulled me down so that I was sitting next to her while Edward set my tray of food down in front of me.

"How was class Bella?" Jasper asked kindly. I looked at him and shook my head solemnly.

"Did something happen?" Rosalie asked concerned.

"Ms. Alchev gave her a detention for being defiant and disrupting the class." Alice said sourly. Rose, Jasper, and Emmett looked at me disbelievingly.

"Defiance?" Emmett asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Disrupting the class?" Jasper echoed.

"Detention." Rosalie said confused and angry. "What really happened?"

"She wanted Bella to speak up and when she didn't she claimed this and-" Alice was cut off by Edward.

"Alice had Bella's backpack and was panicking because she forgot to give it to her. I let Bella borrow a paper and pen to take some notes but Ms. Alchev caught it. She accused Bella of coming to class unprepared and when Alice tried to explain, she silenced her. She told Bella to deny it herself. And when she didn't, she got detention." Edward said frustrated.

"Well, that's completely stupid!" Emmett exclaimed looking pissed off.

"Don't worry about it, Bella. We'll get you out of this." Jasper assured me soothingly.

"_Or_," Rosalie said looking mischievous, "we could join you in detention."

"I don't get it, Rose." Emmett said confused. "How are we-"

"Emmett, are you up for a prank?" Alice asked grinning widely. My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to protest but nothing came out.

"Don't worry, Bella. We'll take care of everything." Rosalie said hugging me. I sat there looking at them wide eyed and not knowing what to do.

"But we don't have Ms. Alchev," Jasper noted. "How are we going to get in trouble with her if we don't even know her class?"

"We'll just have to prank her." Emmett said.

"And get caught or lay out pieces that point to us." Rosalie added.

"Or we could just tell Jessica while we do it." Emmett said. I looked at them confused as they all turned to look at a girl across the cafeteria.

"She's the biggest gossip in school," Alice explained to me. "She just _can't_ keep a secret."

I huffed and Edward chuckled. "So what's the plan?" he asked his siblings.

It was later in Biology, that Edward was called away to the Dean's Office. I was his partner for the rest of the school year and that seemed to drive all the girls mad. I worried when he took my things with him telling me that he would meet up with me after class so that we could walk to our next class.

When Biology was nearing its close, I was surprised that I was summoned. I walked out of the classroom, stumbling for balance. I could hear shouts and restrained voices coming from the room as we neared it.

"Go ahead and enter." The girl said opening the door for me. I looked at her before quietly entering. Ms. Alchev was soaked from head to toe with tomato sauce and anchovies glaring at the Cullens kids that had so quickly become my friends. Carlisle and Esme were inside the room as well. Esme was looking at her kids sternly while Carlisle was using a calm, restrained voice.

"Miss Swan," the Dean, I believe, said snapping everyone's attention to me. I blushed lightly as their eyes bore into me.

"I want them all expelled or suspended in the least!" Ms. Alchev shrieked, breaking the silence. I looked at Alice who winked at me with a sly grin before turning her face to one of that of confusion as she turned to look at the adults. If I hadn't seen Carlisle catch it, then I would've probably thought that I imagined it.

"What did Bella do? Why is she here?" Esme asked looking worried.

"She's behind it all!" Ms. Alchev shrieked pointing her finger at me. I was startled by the intensity of the Cullens kids' glares at her.

"She wanted to get revenge after I gave her detention and then she… she ditched my class! Along with Alice and Edward. She's behind it all!" she cried still pointing at me.

"That's completely unreasonable. Bella is not a vengeful person. And our kids would never ditch class." Esme protested getting angry. She looked like a lioness ready to protect her cubs.

"Ask Bella, then!" she cried glaring at me. "Miss Swan-"

"That is enough." Carlisle said firmly. "I think that you are being unreasonable. And you have no proof or evidence that would lead to her. Maybe a motive but there is no proof."

"Miss Swan defied me in class and disrupted-"

"That is not true!" Alice burst. "You accused her of doing these things when she didn't answer you. She wasn't prepared because I forgot that I had her backpack. I was trying to get it to her but Edward let her borrow some materials so that she would take notes."

"She was being defiant. She refused to answer and-"

"Bella, can you please leave the room? I would like to talk to Ms. Alchev." Carlisle said with a clenched jaw. I looked at him and quietly left the room and leaned against the wall next to the door. I looked around and saw that students were spilling out of their classes and into the halls. Some looked at me and others just kept on walking. I could hear screaming coming from behind the door. Carlisle raised his voice.

Out of all that time that I knew Carlisle, I knew him to be a serene person. Never once had I heard him raise his voice but when it did, it rang with authority and restrained anger. Students paused on their trek and looked at the door curiously.

"…medical condition… not speaking… voice frayed… treatment…" the words were spoken by Carlisle and they came out in fragments. I realized a little too late that my eyes were becoming heavy and I was sliding down against the wall.

"Bella- Bella!" Edward's panicked voice came as I slumped down to the ground. I had enough energy to look up into his worried green eyes. I was slipping in and out of my daze that would soon turn into unconsciousness. "Carlisle!" he shouted quickly as he tried to help me up.

"Fine." I whispered hoarsely trying to fight off the tiredness that had consumed my body. It was the first time that I'd ever attempted to fight it and it seemed to fight back with great vigor.

"Get her into the car. I'll take her to the hospital." Carlisle's voice said. I shook my head weakly and pushed Edward weakly when he tried to lead me to the parking lot.

"Bella, you're sick. You need to get to the hospital." Alice urged behind me.

"Need to finish school… first day." I sighed weakly. I felt like collapsing but as I looked in Edward's eyes, I seemed to find the strength. I staggered a bit but it was enough to hold me upright.

"Bella, you're doing something really stupid right now. Go to the hospital." Jasper urged. I blinked and my eyes darted to Carlisle who was looking at me in astonishment.

"Do you think you're up to finish the day?" he asked me quietly.

"Yes." I whispered. He smiled and nodded.

"Edward, help her to your next class. You'll be late." He ordered. Edward looked at him in disbelief.

"Dad, you can't be serious. She's dead on her feet. She looks ready to pass out." Edward protested in a heated whisper.

"I'm standing here, you know?" I whispered hoarsely. Edward looked at me and shook his head.

"You should go to the hospital and-"

"As her doctor, I respect Bella's wishes. She seems well enough to-"

"Bella, you can't be serious." Edward said frustrated as he then turned to me.

"Can you just take me to class? I'm sure I can last that long." I whispered lowly. His jaw clenched before he gently, with great care took my arm and led me to our last period still looking mad. I coughed a bit as I kept pace with him. He shot a worried glance at me but I quickly covered my cough up and smiled reassuringly at him.

We entered the class just before the bell rang. The teacher told us to take seats and I smiled when Edward sat next to me.

"Alright class, we have a new student." the teacher said smiling at me. The teacher, Mr. Naveine, was a kind, warm-hearted person that was passionate about music. "Please welcome Miss Isabella Swan."

The class murmured hello's and half-hearted greetings before Mr. Naveine told us to choose a partner. Edward and I locked eyes and I smiled.

"Partner?" I asked quietly. He smiled and nodded, his earlier mood gone. I smiled in response.

"Alright, you will have to compose a music piece and perform it with your partner. You can either choose a song or make one. You can either be singing or playing your instrument or both!" he cried excitedly. Excited murmurs rose from the class and I stared blankly ahead. I had composed several pieces and I'd memorized some but I had written all of them down just in case I forgot them or missed a note or a beat in the music. But Scott kept them in his apartment back in New York at my request. _How can I get them over here? Well, that's stupid. I just need to ask him!_ I thought resolved.

"Bella, come on. We need to start practicing in one of the study rooms." Edward's voice pulled me out of my debating. I looked up at him and was startled when he pulled me up. I ended up crashing into his chest. He held me there, steadying me before letting me go. There was a sort of reluctance as he did so. I looked at him and saw that he was slightly blushing and looking at anywhere but me. I grabbed his hand quickly and he smiled at me.

"There's a piano in every room. Come on." he said pulling towards a door. As soon as we were inside, he closed the door and pulled me towards the piano carefully. He sat us down on the piano bench and looked at me intensely.

"Do you have any song in mind?" he asked me. I shook my head hoping that I'd be able to call Scott after this. He knew how to play the piano. He wanted to join me in my music so he chose to play the piano since that was the next instrument that I wanted to learn how to play. He promised to teach me but we never actually got to it. The pieces that I'd composed, he'd contributed to. So it had the violin, piano, and some lyrics.

I shook my head at him when I realized that I hadn't answered his question. "You?" I whispered. He sighed and shook his head as well.

"We'll think of something, Bella." he whispered assuringly. I nodded. We walked to Ms. Alchev's room where everyone else was waiting for us with a fuming teacher at her desk.

"Miss Swan, sit up front. Mr. Cullen, sit in that desk." She ordered brusquely as she pointed to a desk in the front row for me and a desk in the middle section for Edward. His siblings were sitting in the middle section as well and they didn't seem to appreciate the seclusion that she was giving me.

"Would you like to explain to me your reason for lack of words or should I say volume, Miss Swan?" she all but sneered at me. I looked at her blankly.

I'd had one of my previous homeschooling teachers treat me this way as well. She wanted to force me to talk once again but it didn't work and her sneers only pissed Scott off.

"Answer me, Miss Swan." She snapped, her eyes narrowed dangerously. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and I raised my chin while meeting her gaze levelly.

"Fine. You can mull it over within this hour." She said angrily. "No talking." She snapped at all of us. Her jaw was tight and I could tell that my behavior and lack of speech frustrated her and pissed her off.

The room went silent and she soon glared at me before announcing that she was going to leave the room. "No talking. And if I find out that you've moved then there will be a whole round of detention for all of you." It was directed towards all of us but she kept her gaze on me while saying this.

She stomped out of the room and I directed my gaze to the window lazily. I could hear the whispers behind me and I sighed to myself. It was raining outside and I found myself looking out at the rain in a daze. I didn't even realize that I had moved until my hand was pressed against the window, fogging it up a bit. It was cold against my palm and I couldn't bring myself to pull away from it.

"Bella!" Jasper hissed. I turned to look at him confused and I saw him rushing towards me quickly. He pulled me away from the window and wiped the spot where my hand had touched the window before leading me to my seat and sitting me down. He quickly ran back to his own seat. It wasn't even five seconds after he sat down that Ms. Alchev reentered the room.

She looked at us suspiciously before looking at the clock and looking at us, resigned.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She said dismissing us. I stood up from my desk slowly and was pulled out of the room by Emmett and Jasper quickly.

"You are _so_ switching out of her class." Emmett muttered and Jasper nodded in agreement.

"She needs her guardian to sign for that. Carlisle isn't actually that. So Scott's going to have to come here." Rose said and I nodded thoughtfully. Maybe I could tell him to bring my compositions as well. The thought cheered me up a bit.

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**A/N: I kno its not my best work but I was thinkin about too much stuff this week. I didn't get many reviews but I am glad that I did get some at least. For now, though, I won't post up the next chapter until I have more than ten reviews in total for this story. Its not much people! Thanks for readin.**

**- eli**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight characters!**

**A/N: I shoulda done this a long time ago and im sry for keeping all of my devoted readers out there waitin. Wasn't my intention but it happend anyways. School and crap got in the way but i was glad to be able to clear enough time to get this posted up. Thanks to all of you guys who are patient to put up with my hectic schedule. I will now let you read :)**

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Chapter 7:

Esme had food ready for us and I silently thanked her as we ate. Carlisle checked up on me as I went to my room. He said that my body was going to need more nutrition so he told me to eat more.

"The kids told me about switching you out of your English class. I'll switch Edward and Alice out of her class as well. And I'll call Scott-" I shook my head at Carlisle.

"I'll call him." I whispered silently. He nodded looking at me concerned. He gave me the house phone and left the room to give me privacy. I sighed and looked at the phone for a moment before dialing his number.

"Hey, Carlisle. Is something wrong?" his voice sounded concerned and sort of panicky.

"It's me." I whispered pressing the phone closer to my face hoping that it would help.

"Bella, are you alright?" he asked me sounding happy.

"Yeah. I wanted to ask you for a favor." I whispered.

"Shoot, Bells." He said.

"I want you to bring me something. And I'm going to need you to come to sign me out of a class." I whispered.

"What class? Why? Did something happen? Carlisle told me that you blacked out for a few days. Are you feeling alright?" he asked worried.

"I'm better. They're all taking care of me." I whispered and stopped to clear my throat a bit. I usually didn't talk much. "I need you to bring me my compositions with some of the lyrics. Please." My throat was starting to hurt from talking, or in my case whispering, too much all day.

"All right. I'll be there by tomorrow. Just let me get your things together and then I'll head out. I'm not so far away but I just need to get our things." He said and I nodded to the phone before realizing that he couldn't see me.

"Alright." I said in agreement. He talked to me for a bit longer and then sensing my dilemma, we hung up after he said goodbye. Esme called me down for dinner and Rosalie led me down before handing me to Edward who helped me into my seat. I wanted to roll my eyes but ignored it and just silently thanked Esme for dinner.

"Is Scott coming, Bella?" Carlisle asked me. I nodded, too tired to make an effort to speak.

"Why's Scott coming?" Edward's voice sounded slightly panicked.

"He's going to sign Bella out of her class." Carlisle responded. "He might also come to check the rest of her classes to see who you're teachers are." he said smiling empathetically at me. I smiled a bit and nodded. I rubbed my eyes, exhausted as I ate quietly. Conversation at the table resumed and this time it was Jasper that realized that I was finished my food. I ate a little more than half of the food. I smiled and thanked Edward quietly as he helped me up to my room.

I shrugged out of my jacket and slipped out of my long sleeved turtleneck that I wore today, leaving me in my grey tank top. I heard Edward's gasp and I turned to him confused before smiling sheepishly at him. My shoulders had scars from the car crash that night and they went back all the way to my scapulas. No surgery was needed but I had to get a lot of stitches and staples.

"Does it hurt?" he asked tentatively touching my shoulder. I shook my head, smiling at him. I lowered my hair from its restraints and it fell over my shoulders and covered my back nicely.

"It's early, Bella. I'm sure you're tired so I'll be in my room if you need me." he said after a moment. I nodded and watched as he left. It didn't take long for me to go to sleep.

I woke up the next day to the familiar smell of bacon and eggs with cinnamon French toast. I changed knowing that I had to go to school. I smiled at the thought that Scott was already here and wondered how long he'd been here.

I showered and changed as quick as I could before walking down the stairs. I smiled a bit when Scott wrapped me up in a hug, laughing.

"Good morning, sleepy head." He chuckled as he set me down. Slowly, he checked my arms and face for any signs of injuries. I'd gone through a suicidal phase which soon ended thanks to Scott's demeanor. His stressed face had shaken me out of my thoughts then. But he still seemed to check me in case I did anything or tried to do anything.

"Come on, Bella." He said grabbing my hand and pulling my sleeves down to cover my old scars. He tugged me to the kitchen and sat me down before Esme set a plate of food in front of me. Everyone was eating it while Esme thanked Scott for cooking breakfast.

I glanced at Scott hoping that he brought the music compositions. He caught my gaze and winked back. I relaxed and turned back to my food.

"Come on, Bella! We're going to be late." Alice said as she grabbed my backpack and pulled me out of my chair when she concluded that I was finished eating. I smiled and kept my pace up with hers up to the point that we were almost running.

Scott drove behind us as Edward drove us to school. Jasper escorted me to class and kept me relaxed under the stares and whispers of our peers.

"Come on, Bella." Jasper said tugging me inside the class room. I waved half-heartedly to Scott as we caught each other's gazes and he walked up to the Dean. He smiled in return.

"Good morning, Isabella." Mr. Yourman said politely as we walked inside our History class. I smiled and nodded in return.

Scott was outside of the classroom waiting for me when class ended. Jasper and him exchanged a few words before Jasper left waving goodbye to me after handing my backpack over to my cousin. Scott walked me to class and smiled when Alice greeted me excitedly at the door before pulling me inside. He was worried about me but seemed to trust Alice.

"I'm here to see which classes I want Bella in and which classes I don't want her in." he told Alice in a hushed voice when she inquired about his presence. She smiled at him and nodded in approval.

"Well, you won't want her in this class. Maybe you can switch her out of this class. Esme's switching me and Edward out of this class after today." Alice said smiling at him.

"You can sit in the back and I'll tell Ms. Alchev that you're supervising with the permission of the Dean." Alice said and they smiled at each other as Alice led me to my seat and left my backpack with me before skipping to Ms. Alchev's desk where she was immersed in reading a book.

Ms. Alchev nodded curtly at Alice and raised her eyes to look at Scott before turning to look at me. I ignored her icy glare and smiled slightly at Edward who sat down next to me.

"Morning, Bella." He said smiling at me. His green eyes took me by surprise and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Morning." I whispered and he smiled a lopsided grin.

"Scott's here." He noted and I nodded in agreement. "And Alice gave you your backpack." He said and I smiled a bit in agreement. "Maybe today will be better than yesterday."

I shrugged at that and he chuckled.

"Miss Swan!" Ms. Alchev's voice rang clear through the buzz of the students chattering away. I looked away from Edward and turned to see her glaring at me. "Stop talking and assemble your things. You need to prepare yourself for class." She said narrowing her eyes at me. "Unless you came unprepared today as well." She said with a sneer.

I got out my notebook, a pen, and a pencil to prove to her that I was prepared and she visibly gritted her teeth in frustration. She called the class to attention and had us begin to read. I was startled when I realized that she was going down our row to read the passages in the story. I looked at Edward nervously when the person next to me, Angela, finished reading.

Edward smiled at me reassuringly before he started to read when it was my turn, taking over.

"Mr. Cullen," Ms. Alchev said tightly as she caught on to what he was doing but he only raised his voice a bit as he kept on reading as if he hadn't heard her.

"Mr. Cullen, I believe it is Miss Swan's turn to read." She snapped at him when he finished reading the entire thing.

"I don't see the point in making someone re-read a passage that I just read." He said challenging her. "I mean I just poured my heart and soul into this passage," he said mockingly. I heard Alice stifle a giggle from across the aisle. "I'd be insulted if someone else was made to read this again. Was my reading not adequate?"

Ms. Alche'vs lips pursed in a tight line and she glared at him before continuing on with the lesson. I smiled thanking Edward making him grin. My attention was called to the front of the room by the sharp demand of our teacher.

"Please continue with the reading, Miss Swan," her voice was challenging me, wanting me to speak up. But I couldn't. No matter how much I would try, it would all be in vain. I had only ever accomplished raising my voice once after they died. Scott had been talking to some doctors and therapists of mine and they'd brought up my parents... raw anger had filled me and I'd lashed out at them. After trying to catch my breath, I fainted.

Nothing had changed when I woke up two days later. Scott still worried over me and I felt as exhausted as ever. I wanted to just give up. I wanted to have them back. But I couldn't. And when the realization of that set in, I'd attempted to end my life. It didn't work out in my favor but in Scott's.

I saw Edward scowl from next to me as Ms. Alchev and the rest of the class except Alice, who was scowling with Edward, looked at me expectantly.

"Edward, Alice," Scott's voice startled me. Everyone turned to see Scott sitting rigidly in his seat. "Please take Bella out. I'll take care of everything."

Alice was immediately at my side, and had my back pack in one hand and her folder in the other. Edward gently helped me out of my seat before guiding me out of the room. I chanced a glance at Scott and saw the clear anger towards my English teacher in them. This would not end well... for Ms. Alchev.

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**A/N: I would like at least six more reviews at most. I will try and put the next chapter as soon as I can but i wont guarantee anything since one of the things i hate the most is when ppl dont keep their word. hopefuly it wont take as long.**

**Questions hav been askd and im sry for not answrin them. But here i go:**

**Q1:**What is Bella dying from? Is just because she gave up when her parents died or is because something really is wrong?

-it is throat trauma. itl be explaind later but but it was the combo of an injury from the accident and the negativity instilled in bella that makes her this way. shes just giving up...

**Feel free to ask q's and il answer soon as i can. thnx for the suport and everything. Thanx to everyone whos reviewed and who's read my stories. Feel free to chek out my othr story as wel, All My Life. ^-^**

**-eli**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Cant belive that it took this long. It seems that all im good for lately is apologizing. sry haha**

**Disclaimer: All Twilight characters belong to Stephanie Meyer save for Scott. He's mine hehe **

**And without further ado, my lovely readers... I give u the next chapter. :D**

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Chapter 8:

We spent the last few mintutes of class outside of the class room. Ms. Alchev ignored our early departure and continued with the lesson with a more cheery tune though she seemed disgruntled.

Alice tugged me towards Pre-Calculus, leaving Edward behind to go to his next class when second period was dismissed. I was able to hear Scott's curt tone when he requested to speak with Ms. Alchev after second period ended but didn't hear anymore before Alice tugged me away.

Mr. O'Grady was a kind man but was firm. He didn't have a problem with me and seemed impressed with my knowledge and how I was able to keep up. His eyes seemed to skim over Alice's sleeping form as if she wasn't present. Scott came in class a few minutes after it started and talked quietly with Mr. O'Grady before retreating to the back of the class. I didn't glance at him since I was too focused on the review packet that Mr. O'Grady had given us for homework and classwork. Alice had woken up with a start, blabbering about a shoe sale that was on after school.

_After school_, I realized a bit late. We all had detention. _Did Scott know?_

"Class dismissed," Mr. O'Grady called after the bell rang. Alice, coincidentally hearing those two words, shot up out of her seat. She helped me pack my things before she tugged me out of the class before anyone was out of their seats. The halls flooded with students but Alice was determined. She sat us at the table that we'd sat at yesterday, telling me not to worry about my lunch.

I was about to inquire as to why I should not worry about lunch when Edward sat next to me with two trays and slid one of them in my direction.

"Hope you like pizza," he told me as a greeting. I frowned. "What? Look, Bella, if you don't like pizza then you can have my ham sandwhich," he said quickly but I shook my head at him. He looked at me, puzzled.

"I could've gotten it," I whispered to him. He smiled in what seemed relief and waved it off.

"Don't worry about it," Alice piped in, smiling. "Just say thank you and get over it."

I rolled my eyes and felt my lips tugging up in a smile at her. I turned to Edward and nodded at him, whispering a thank you which he thankfully caught. I was startled when Emmett jumped in his seat when he joined us, laughing boisterously. Rosalie and Jasper sat down opposite of us. When Rosalie saw my startled face, she smacked Emmett making Jasper laugh and Emmett whine.

"I wanna play another prank," Emmett whined. "Bells, ya wanna part in it?"

"Don't incirminate Bella with your stupid schemes!" Rosalie hissed at him and then softened her tone and face when she turned to me, "Don't listen to him. Just tell him 'no' while he's still asking."

It was a clear warning and everyone else seemed to agree with her as Emmett smiled innocently when I turned to him. I shook my head at him making him pout. I sighed and took a bite out of my food, my eyes wandering as all of them began to talk and argue with Emmett. My eyes caught sight of Scott at the entrance of the cafeteria where most of the girl's in the cafeteria were ogling him from afar. I admit that Scott was good-looking and a few years ago, he used to take advantage of his good looks to get women. It wasn't until my dad talked to him and I told him off after finding out how disrespectful he was being towards women; playing with their hearts and toying with their emotions. Scott stood tall at 6'3 and had dark brown hair with blue-grey eyes with a lean yet muscular build.

He lifted his hands slightly and my eyes caught the movement.

_You're not in that lady's class anymore. _he signed in sign language. _And you're math teacher's pretty cool._

I did not give any indication of our communication and it didn't seem that the Cullens noticed for they gave no sign of it. I had learned sign language with Scott after I had had an episode in the hospital. I had been stubborn on not speaking ever again and it scared Scott senseless. He proposed sign language, telling me that he at least wanted a way to communicate with me and I had agreed. We usually talked like this but he also liked me talking since he said that he also missed my voice even if it was just a whisper. He wanted me to use this method of communication rarely and wanted me to keep on trying to talk.

I humored him from time to time but I liked sticking to sign language.

_I thought you hated pizza because it was a fattening food._ he signed to me and I shifted my eyes a bit indicating my disagreement and he simply raised an eyebrow at me. The truth was that I considered giving pizza a second choice simply because Edward was kind enough to get it for me. It was a kind gesture that I appreciated.

_So you don't hate pizza anymore?_ he signed skeptically.

I took a bite out of my pizza as if to answer him and he smiled widely.

_I'll leave you to your new friends and see you after school in Ms. Alchev's class._ he signed before turning and leaving the cafeteria.

My eyes widened at his words. I couldn't mask the surprise at his words of joining us in detention or the way that his face showed smugness when he mentioned how the Cullens were my friends. We'd had an argument about friends after _they_ died. All of mine weren't able to support me in my deppressed state and they couldn't stand me so they left or turned their backs on me. I told Scott that I would never have any friends again and he firmly disagreed. He said that those weren't friends and that soon, I would have real friends who would stick by me; people worthy of laughing with and speaking to.

The Cullens seemed to have noticed my shocked stare because they looked at me curiously as they followed my gaze to the cafeteria doors. I darted my eyes down to my food, mulling over my cousin's words as I shrugged their questions away.

Edward lead me to Biology in silence as I thought over Scott's words.

"Hello, Mr. Swan," Ms. Alchev said and Scott entered the class room which was holding us in detention. Emmett grumbled something in the back earning a smack from Rose no doubt. Scott nodded to her before sitting in the desk next to me.

Ms. Alchev bristled before announcing that she would be leaving momentarily. She demanded that we not leave our seats before leaving the room. I heard Scott exhale loudly next to me but paid him no attention as my gaze drifted to windows to the side of the class. Rain was pouring outside.

It drew my attention like a magnet as it always did.

A hand enclosed over my shoulder and sat me down, bringing me back to reality. I realized that I'd been getting up and out of my seat before Scott sat me down quickly.

"Stop," he said quickly. My head whipped around to face him that I was sure to have gotten whiplash but I could only focus my glare on him. He met my glare with a calm gaze. My glare softened before slipping off of my face and I turned to my attention to the front of the class.

His hand slipped off of my shoulder slowly and settled on top of the desk in front of him. I heard him shuffle with something but forced my eyes to stay at the front of the class room. I turned to him confused when he nudged me.

"You requested..." he trailed off. My eyes snapped from his face to the tattered blue folder that had papers sticking out from the edges. I smiled a small smile and nodded, thanking him quietly. He sighed heavily as I took the folder in my hands eagerly, sifting through the music compositions.

"Is there a special one that you're looking for?" he inquired as I organized the music sheets and notes as well as lyrics. I shook my head slightly.

The folder was snatched from my hands with terrifying speed seconds before the door slammed open. Ms. Alchev raised an eyebrow at Scott as he tried to make himself look busy in my defense.

"May I inquire as to what you're holding, Mr. Swan?" she asked in an overly polite voice.

"It's some business things that I'm taking care of," he replied easily, smiling through his lie. She raised an eyebrow at him and shook her head, smirking at him.

"I'll have to confiscate it then." she said. I made a sound of protest as Scott coughed in shock. Ms. Alchev looked at me before holding her hand out in Scott's direction. He pursed his lips as she silently demanded the blue folder of him. _My_ blue folder. No one else had touched that folder but Scott, me, and my parents.

"It's my class room and they're my rules," she said stealing a glance at my now terrified face. Her face seemed to take a new form of determination as Scott closed the folder and held it to his chest protectively.

"I am sorry to point out, however, that I am not your student. And it may be your class room but you cannot enforce your rules on me." his voice was calm as was his face but I knew better to think that he wasn't feling smug at the moment.

"In that case, I demand that you leave my class room. It is within my power to not allow you in here." she spoke firmly and I saw Scott's face harden and his resolve waver. He glanced at me, not wanting to leave me. But he also wasn't keen on the idea of handing the folder over.

My eyes widened when he lifted the folder from his chest and began to extend it in her direction. I felt something in me snap and I shoved the folder back at him. I quickly signed to him: _I don't want her any where near my folder. And if you have to leave my side for the remainder of the hour then so be it. Anyways I'm not alone and the Cullens wouldn't let anything happen to me. And if you think that I'm just going to sit by prettily while you hand over my folder then-_

"I'm going, I'm going," he sighed, cutting my furious signing off. I huffed and sat back in my desk, staring straight ahead and ignoring Ms. Alchev's annoyed glare. "It seems that I will be leaving. Good bye, Ms. Alchev." he said with a curt nod as he gathered his things and tucked the folder under his arm as he got out of his seat. "Good bye," he said to the Cullens before leaving.

I could feel everyone's gaze boring into me as I fought the urge to look towards the window as the rain continued to pour outside.

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**Like it? Love it? Hate it? Review please. Sorry again for the wait. I'l try to be more vigilent about all of this. Sometimes I lose trak of time with everythin goin on tho. I'll do better ^-^**

**-eli**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all of the Twilight characters and I love and praise her constantly for it. :D**

**A/N: I kno that its been a while and it will probably be a longer while b4 I post up another chaptr. Thnx for being patient and stikin with me. Sry for the wait. And… ON with the story hehe**

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Chapter 9:

"Dinner's served, kids." Esme called to us as we entered the house. I thanked Alice as she set my back pack down. Rose tugged me to the kitchen as everyone followed silently behind. They hadn't spoken after detention ended but I could still feel their gazes on me.

Conversation was easy with the Cullens. Not that I took part in it. A nod or a shake of the head was all I did and I never put my two cents in as I ate quietly, deliberately. I wasn't really ever hungry and I knew that it annoyed and scared Scott. I could always see it on his face. But I tried which seemed to satisfy him somewhat.

"Are you not hungry anymore, Bella?" Esme asked when I stopped eating. Conversation seemed to pause as everyone turned to look at me. My eyes shifted from Carlisle's empty seat and away from the silent questions of his lack of presence as well as my cousin's.

"No, thank you," I whispered. She smiled warmly at me as I stood up from my seat. I took my plate before Alice could and took it to the kitchen and washed it carefully. I stood frozen in the kitchen as I looked outside where the rain was lightening up.

"Bella," Carlisle's worried voice startled me out of my thoughts. I looked over at him and smiled slightly. "Are you alright?" he asked me, worried. I noticed that Scott was standing a few feet away from him and was closer to me, only a few feet away; his entire frame was tense as he looked at me, worried as well. I nodded at both of them.

Scott looked at me for another moment, observing me, before visibly relaxing. He handed me my blue folder and I eagerly took it, my fingers recalling the old sheets. I smiled as I walked away slowly, making sure to be aware of my surroundings as I sifted through the pages. I managed to walk out of the kitchen and climb up the stairs, passing the Cullens as I continued to look through the music sheets with rapt attention.

I was startled to be pulled back and carried down the stairs. I relaxed a bit when I realized that it was Scott and quickly closed the folder so that nothing would fall out. Scott set me down at the bottom of the stairs and smiled at me. I looked back at him blankly, my hand gripping the blue folder at my side.

"I'm leaving today and I know that you'll be looking that over probably for the rest of the evening," he told me still smiling. "So I'm telling you an early good bye."

His arms wrapped around me, hugging me tightly. I lifted my arms and hugged him back half-heartedly. The beaming smile was there when he pulled away and I quickly went back to the stairs. I only ever hugged people occasionally but it seemed a rare occurrence.

I went to my room, distracted by the folder in my hands. I didn't bother to close the door as I rushed to my bed, setting the folder in my lap as I continued to recall the pages. I smiled to myself as I came upon a composition that Scott used to tease me about when I was younger. The lyrics held my determination to learn more about music, my eagerness. I had been so young.

"Are you busy, Bella?" Jasper asked. I looked up to see him and his siblings as well as Alice. I'd done the math enough to figure out that Jasper was in a relationship with Alice and Emmett and Rosalie were in the same boat. Edward, to my knowledge, was single.

I smiled at them, shook my head, and gestured for them to come inside. They clambered in stumbling a bit thanks to Emmett's eagerness as he pushed through the entrance. They glared at him as he laughed their anger away.

"What is that?" Alice asked me. I held up a finger, gesturing for her to wait. I looked through a piece that Scott and I had worked on before my parents died. I lifted the pages up from their containment in the transparencies in the folder. It held the music sheets from my part, Scott's part, and the lyrics which were all separated. I sifted through them before lifting them up to Alice for her to see. She looked at me before carefully taking them from me. They all surrounded her as she looked through the sheets.

"Music?" Emmett said confused. I nodded.

"You wrote this?" Rosalie asked looking astonished and awed. I blushed a bit.

"Scott," I whispered and they looked at me confused. I gestured with my hands as I tried to convey that we had both written the music.

"Both of you wrote it," Jasper said to my intense relief. I nodded, smiling a bit.

"This is amazing," Rosalie said looking through the complicated notes on my part. "You should get an agent or something for this. It's-"

I took the sheets quickly, shaking my head at her furiously.

"Why? It's really good," she insisted.

"Inspiration," I said pointedly. I smiled at Alice when she handed me a marker and the white board from yesterday. _That was the music that I used to play. There's no point in playing it now. _I wrote before showing it to her.

"Then why'd Scott bring it for you, Bella? He said that you requested it." she huffed stubbornly.

_I wanted to try and figure something for Edward and I. We have a music project coming up._ I explained. _It was supposed to be a surprise._

Edward smiled as I blushed again.

"Surprise," I muttered and he chuckled.

"Is there a particular one that you want to do?" Edward asked me, sitting next to me on the bed. I smiled, blushing, and shrugged.

_Do you know how to sing?_ I wrote down before showing him. Emmett cracked up, reading my question and Jasper snickered besides him.

"Everyone knows how to sing, Bella. The question is whether they have the talent. I prefer to stick to my piano, personally." Edward told me. I smiled and nodded. I smiled wider when I saw a tint of pink on his cheeks as he glared at his brothers.

_Do you have the talent?_ I rephrased my question and he blushed darker as his brothers guffawed at his appearance.

"I- uh- you wou- I can't-" he stuttered, blushing harder.

"Eddie can sing, Bella. But he stopped after Esme showed his _talent_ off to her friends," Emmett grinned while Edward glared at both of them. My eyes widened in alarm when some music sheets fell from the unorganized folder in my hands. I quickly scurried to pick the sheets up and thanked them as they helped me in my panic. Edward was looking at a sheet and I gently took it from his hands, reading it as well. My lips pursed as I recognized the piece. It was Scott's; he'd written half of it after his parents died and then completed it when my parents died.

_How to Save a Life_ **(a/n: the song is originally by The Fray)** was the title of the piece. It was piano and he'd started it in his teens and finished it a few weeks after my parents died. He played it after I saw him crack under the stress of my constant attempts of taking my own life away. I never thought of how much he'd gone through himself before I listened to him sing as he played the song, caressing the keys reverently. He'd lost people as well; I wasn't alone in my loss. He was with me and he wasn't leaving; he'd stuck with me through everything and I knew that it wasn't because he felt obligated to. He loved me, he cared for me.

"Did you write that?" Edward asked me as I tucked the piece away. I shook my head.

"Scott," I whispered and I saw him nod once from my peripheral vision as I tucked the other sheets into my folder.

"How long have you been able to do sign language?" Jasper asked me curiously and I grimaced. I grabbed the board and wrote down my reply carefully. _Not so long. I can't use it too much, though. Scott doesn't like it._

"Why doesn't Scott like it?" Emmett blurted out.

"Why can't you use it so much?" Jasper asked me at the same time as Emmett's question.

_Scott wants me to use my voice more than using this form of communication. He doesn't like it because I slip into the habit of signing every now and then. I can't use it so much because I made a deal with Scott when I lost a bet on a doctor. He cheated._

"What bet?" Edward asked me and I blushed. This seemed to grab their attention much to my embarrassment.

_I didn't know Carlisle much when I first met him. And I thought that like all the other doctors that had attended me, Carlisle would be no different. I'd never really met a truly genuine, kind doctor before Carlisle. The bet was that Carlisle wouldn't know what my condition was like most of the other doctors and that we would be in search of another doctor under the month._ I wrote before showing them. They read my messy writing with rapt attention. I erased it before continuing._ I was wrong... so I had to stop using sign language so much. And since Scott made sure to keep papers and anything to write with out of my reach, I was forced to use my voice._

"Clever," Alice muttered and I rolled my eyes half-heartedly.

Emmett and Jasper asked me about my instruments and requested that I play something. I looked at Rosalie questioningly when she carefully brought up me my cello. She smiled at me encouragingly with Alice and Edward who were looking at me with pleading and expectant eyes.

I relented and carefully took my cello, getting into position as I slowly closed my eyes. For a moment, I rested the bow against the strings and recalled the notes to one of Scott's songs.

**(Listen to Haji from **_**Blood Plus **_**in one of the first episodes for this.)**

"Is she asleep?" Emmett whispered a little too loudly. I smiled a small smile and weaved the music around me, letting it fill the air from the solemn and soothing song. Curving forward a bit, I let what little passion I had currently soak into the music.

My small performance didn't last so long but it felt as if I'd just run a mile by the way that my breathing had become invigorated as the music progressed. My shallow breaths sounded pained but my face showed no emotion as my eyes remained closed. My passion drained out and the music began to sound strained near the end and I abruptly stopped playing it, hating the strained sound.

"It sucks to be a failure," I whispered quietly, my eyes still closed and my body curved around the large instrument. I felt a hand come down on my shoulder gently as the instrument was pulled out of my hands by another set of hands.

"You should rest, Bella. Carlisle said its bad to overwork yourself," Alice whispered quietly though it was Rosalie who was standing in front of me, supporting me with the hand on my shoulder.

"It was a beautiful song," Edward told me and I rolled my eyes, good naturedly. My body was tense as I fell asleep, knowing that I wouldn't be able to get any sleep. I wouldn't ever be able to rest with all the guilt on my shoulders. Alice tucked me in my bed and carefully set the blue folder on the night table before urging me to rest. I tried to tell her- tell them all that I didn't want to sleep. I didn't want to remember that night. I wanted them back.

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**A/N: thnx for readin and plz plz plz review. It means a lot to me wen u guys review. Tell me wat u think, il try to keep an open mind. Especially now sinc im startin to hav writers blok of epic proportions. It totally suks so I need suggestions or feedback. Feedback is always good ^-^**

**-eli**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight's characters and everything as it should be. :)**

**A/N: Can't believe it took me this long but I won't hold you guys back anymore. Thanx for being patient with me. But here it is, chapter 10! Enjoy, you guys! ^-^**

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Chapter 10:

I could see the scene of that night repeat over and over again until I was jolted out of my sleep in a cold sweat, gasping for air as the feeling of the water surrounded me. It drowned me. It drowned _them._

Blurry images filled my eyes as I jumped out of my bed and towards the bathroom, feeling the bile inevitably rise up seeking a way out. I hunched over the toilet, feeling my lunch revisit me. I gagged again and again until no energy was left in my body, barely aware of the fact that my hair was being lifted away from my face or that there was a voice growing in panic as soothing circles were rubbed into my back.

I felt my body slump and arms caught me before I could actually fall. I was jostled around and was slightly aware of the fact that I was being carried. My tearful eyes opened enough to give me the identity of the person who was helping me. Edward.

I woke up to the sound of a piano playing in the distance as voices argued around me creating a whirwind of sound that jarred me out of the blurry figures and into reality. I showed no surprise when I saw doctors crowding the small room that I was occupying, arguing and gesturing wildly as the music continued. It flowed from the hall and into the small white, sanitary hospital room.

"She needs therapy!" one doctor exclaimed.

"She needs to be medicated," another protested. _Where's Scott? Why isn't he here?_ I though panicked as I looked around my surroundings.

"Her cousin has been taking care of her," another said sarcastically.

"Its good he didn't hear you say that or else-"

"He can't enter the room until Dr. Cullen comes in and gives that order," another said snottily. _Scott can't come in?_

"Yeah? Well, its good that he's being distracted by some nurses. They always loved him," another muttered sourly. My bleary eyes opened and all attention was suddenly on me.

"How are you feeling, Isabella? You fainted and..." the doctor's voice was tuned out of my head as the sound of the piano continued. _Why do he notes sound so familiar?_

"Do you need anything?" a hand waved in front of my face, taking me out of my thoughts. I looked at one of the many doctors who was looking at me concerned.

"Scott," I whispered hoarsely.

"Your cousin is outside of the room. He can't come in-"

"Scott." I whispered again. He looked annoyed then but I couldn't bring myself to care. Scott was just outisde. Where was Carlisle? Why weren't they in here? Why were these doctors even in here? They weren't my doctors.

"We're going to give you some medication to soothe you out," one doctor said thrusting a small cup of cherry red liquid at me, looking at me expectantly.

"Scott," I whispered, looking at the door as his singing voice floated inside.

_"...as he goes left and you stay right between the lines_

_of fear and blame_

_You begin to wonder why you came._

_Where did I go wrong?_

_I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness._

_And I could have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life."_

"Drink this first and we'll let you see your cousin, Isabella." another doctor said with a smile plastered on his face. I looked at him blankly and looked towards the door, wanting to see Scott. I wanted him here.

"Scott." I whispered, sitting up in the bed.

"Isabella-"

"You're not my doctors. Where is Dr. Cullen? Scott?" I whispered, swinging my legs over the bed and moving to stand. A hand pushed me back gently onto the bed, stopping me from going any further.

"You should drink this," one of the doctors said forcefully.

"No," my voice was firm and for once it was loud. It hurt my throat but I paid no attention to that as I looked defiantly into the eyes of the doctor. "I want to see Scott. Now."

"You can't-"

"Scott! Scott!" my voice was shrill and it hurt and burned my throat as the volume of my voice grew louder and louder. Tears welled in my eyes from the effort as I tried to stand up on my feet, pushing the doctors away from me, glaring at them angrily.

The music came to a sudden cease as my voice grew louder and louder as I refused to listen to the hushed voices of the doctors.

"Get away from me! You're not my doctors! Leave me alone!" I screamed, the tears breaking free. "Stop!" I shouted, pushing away their hands as they tried to sit me back down on the bed. "Scott!" I screamed, swaying on my feet as I felt my energy leave me abruptly.

"Bella," Scott's frantic voice was echoed by the voices of my new friends, Carlisle, and Esme.

"Scott!" I cried, looking around desperately. "Don't touch me!" I screamed hysterically at the doctors who tried to approach me. My knees buckled but I refused to fall as I glared balefully at the many doctors.

The door burst open and I felt myself crack. The tears streamed down my face and arms were immediately around me.

"I hate... hospitals," I croaked through my tears.

"I know, Bells. But you'll be fine. No one's going to hurt you." Scott's soothing voice washed over me. "If you touch her I will sue you for all that you've got." his voice was deadly and wasn't directed at me this time. Murmurs erupted in different forms of apologies and excuses as they all filed out of the room.

"Bella, can you open your eyes?" Carlisle's soothing voice registered through the blurry haze that was beginning to surround me.

"It hurts," I said tiredly.

"What does?" he asked me and I felt myself being laid down on the bed.

"Throat," I said, my voice strained then.

"You should rest, Bella." Esme told me quietly. "Unless you want anything? Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"No... thank you, Esme." I whispered thinking twice about my words. _Its not _what_ I want so much as _who_ I want... But that wouldn't matter because they won't ever come back. They won't be there when I wake up._ I thought, wiping the tears away sadly.

"Bells, you'll be fine." Scott's voice said reluctantly. I smiled weakly at him as I began to drift off into unconsciousness. We both knew that I wouldn't ever be alright again. But I couldn't bring myself to tell him otherwise.

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**A/N: I love that band and music has always been an inspiration for me. I thought that that song actually fit for this. Thnx for reading again and don't forget to review. Plz review! Ten more reviews would be appreciated before I post up the next chapter. :)**

**-eli**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Twilight characters are not mine.**

**A/N: I know that I haven't been on for a while and I know that I didn't exactly get the ten reviews that I wanted but what I got was enough. Thanks guys, all of you. Well, without further ado I give you Chapter 11! Enjoy :)

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Chapter 11:

I spent a few days in the hospital and then two weeks in school before I found myself being rushed back towards the hospital again. The thing was... I wasn't alone this time.

It was a Thursday morning that I had begun to feel down. Scott had left shortly after I got released from the hospital the last time. He hadn't touched his music much and it bothered me. He made the excuse of trying to get into the company that he was now in charge of.

I didn't believe it.

Well, I had been feeling down because of Scott's absence. Esme and Carlisle had surprised me by telling me that Scott would be arriving to visit me by the end of the week. My happy mood didn't last long when I realized that it was raining.

Edward drove us to school as his siblings argued in the back seat. And I could vaguely remember seeing him and Alice exchange worried glances after looking at me. I was simply staring outside the car window as we drove to school.

"Are you excited for school, Bella? Its almost the end of the week," Rosalie tried to coax me to talk.

"Yes," I whispered without looking at her.

That was another thing: I had been starting to talk more and more after I began to take therapy to help me to get talking again twice a week. It was every Tuesday and Thursday that my therapy was. It was something that I never looked forward to because even though my therapist and I hadn't covered the night of when my parents had died, I knew that it was coming.

"How has that project been going between you and Edward?" Emmett piped up as Edward parked in the parking lot.

"We've been progressing," I whispered again and felt the slight sting. "Piano and cello."

"An instrumental piece?" they all asked me.

"Bella plans on having the surgery," Edward said quietly as we sat in the car as we watched all of the students mingle. "It would be a few weeks before we have to present our piece."

The surgery. That had been another thing that had been on my can't-help-worry-over list. Carlisle had a sneaking suspicion that I had some sort of throat trauma. He told me that surgery was an option to help me out. And I was considering it.

But I knew that getting my voice back wouldn't bring my parents back. I was taking therapy so that I wouldn't have to be plagued by my nightmares and memories of that night while I would still be healing over my surgery.

"I'm considering it," I nodded and got out of the car before they could argue. I began to walk towards the school, bracing myself for another day of school.

I wanted to have the surgery but I didn't know how I felt about that. Because it would mean that some normalcy would be restored. It would be a realm of normalcy where my parents wouldn't be. A realm where they would probably be left in the past to be forgotten. And I couldn't stand that.

Because I wanted them here. Now.

_But I know that that wouldn't be happening anytime soon._ And so that was the thought that had been whirling in my head when I heard a screeching sound. Like metal scraping against metal.

And that's what it was; it was Tyler Crowley breaking and hitting a patch of ice in the parking lot wrong. I could see his terrified face as we locked eyes through his windshield; he was trying to regain control of his blue van while I was standing frozen and wide eyed directly in his path of collision.

"Bella!" I could hear the faint voices of the Cullens, people who I considered to be my new family. I stepped towards them, determined to get out of the van's way before it was too late.

And then I locked eyes with Edward's horrified eyes just as a drop of wetness landed on my cheek and I froze altogether. My shoulders slumped as it began to rain and I felt so powerless and frozen in my spot. My mind was screaming at me to run, to get out of the way. But my body was frozen and locked in place, memories flashing before my eyes as I saw my dad crash into the river and the water surrounding us completely.

Screams filled the parking lot and I was thrown back. I clenched my eyes shut, ready to die. So ready.

What I wasn't prepared for, however, was the feeling of arms wrapped protectively around me. Much less that those arms belonged to Edward. I looked up carefully, aware of the ringing in my ears and the screams still filling the parking lot.

A side of his face was coated in blood and he was looking at me frantically. Tears streamed down my face as I watched the rain wash his blood away. But the blood seemed to be endless. It mixed with water as we stared at each other.

"Why didn't you move?" he asked me angrily before slumping into me, his arms still wrapped around my torso. My throat closed up as I cried quietly, pleading in whispers for him to wake up.

I didn't want him to die. I loved him.

More tears came as I realized this and I felt my breathing become shallow as I realized that I would be losing another loved one. And it was once again all my fault.

And that is where I am now. It didn't take long for the ambulance and the police to arrive on the scene and then I was being strapped down to a gurney along with Edward and we were being rushed to the hospital with Tyler.

As soon as I saw Carlisle's panicked face, I burst into tears. I couldn't tell him that I'd killed his son. I heard the clinical speaking as Edward was rushed away and then I was being rushed to another room away from him.

I couldn't stop my tears and I still can't. My therapist was called and that brings me to where I am now; in my hospital room sitting across my therapist, Ms. Gavelstone, while unable to stop my tears.

"Would you like to talk about it?" she asked me quietly.

I shook my head, still unable to stop the tears. I hated them. They showed my weakness when I was supposed to be strong. I wasn't supposed to be paralyzed by the rain. I wasn't supposed to be crying when I should be comforting Esme and Carlisle for their loss.

"What happened today, Bella?" she asked me quietly. I shook my head again and continued to cry.

If I hadn't frozen up then Edward would still be here.

"Bella?" she asked me as I curled up in my hospital bed and hugged my knees to my chest, burying my tear stained face into my knees. I couldn't get his bloody face out of my head. He had been bleeding so much.

The rain and his blood was everywhere and there seemed to be more blood than rain.

I didn't realize she had left until I reluctantly looked up from my knees. I didn't know where I was going but before I knew it, I was running out of the room and searching.

I knew what I was searching for but I knew that I wouldn't be successful. He wasn't here anymore. Tears blurred my vision as I found myself running through the hospital's garden and to another wing of the hospital. I didn't make it far and simply sat under a large tree.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I said aloud and winced at the pain in my throat. "I'm sorry. So sorry. So sorry," I said over and over again, ignoring the pain.

"Sorry for what?" _his_ voice came from in front of me. I wiped my tears away and looked up to see him in a hospital gown.

_Oh great. He didn't live long after he got to the hospital and now he's come to haunt me while I'm in the hospital._ I thought to myself miserably.

"You know, you have everyone worried? You can't just disappear like that, Bella." he told me sternly and I cried. Because that would be something that he would say.

"I'm sorry," I apologized again.

"Stop apologizing, Bella. Come on. I'll help you back to your room," he held out his hand to me.

"You're helping me?" I asked him. _Could ghosts do that? Weren't they supposed to be see through or something? How was he going to help me?_ I thought as I looked up at him confused.

"Yes, Bella." he smiled at me and I smiled back tearfully. "Stop talking though. Its bad for you to use your voice so much."

I looked past him and froze in my place.

"Its raining," I whispered as I shivered in my place. I hadn't noticed it before and that was because of the shelter that the large tree provided for us. But it was all around us. I stood up and pressed myself to the tree trunk, looking around panicked. The water was already accumulating and forming puddles.

"I'll keep you safe and warm, Bella. You don't have to worry when you're with me. Trust me," he held his hand out to me again.

I looked around uncertainly before looking at him when he called my name. He smiled at me reassuringly. Slowly, I warily reached out my hand to grasp his in mine. I expected him to be cold, being a ghost and all. I expected my hand to go through his. I expected him to disappear and leave me with his voice blaming me for his death. I expected the worst.

My hand fit in his perfectly and I looked up at him surprised. He smiled at me. His hand was warm and I continued to stare at him as he pulled me protectively to his side. He shielded me as much from the rain as he ran us through the hospital courtyard and into the cold, sterile environment of the hospital.

Yet I felt warm as I looked at his wet form.

"You're safe," he smiled at me, his cheeks flushed and his eyes bright and earnest.

"You're alive," I mumbled before fainting in his arms.

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**A/N: I remember crying as I wrote this, hehe. Hope you guys don't kill me for leaving you like that. Plez review!**

**-eli**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Im sorry for hte hold up, but here is the next chapter! God, I missed u guys haha. Thnx to those who reviewd. Those of you who didn't! Please review! Well, here goes nothing. I introduce you to the next chapter of one of my favorite stories...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Twilight characters.**

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Chapter 12:

I woke up in shock in the same hospital bed. My surprise was short lived as everything rushed back to me. _Was it a dream? Was Edward alive or dead?_ I thought frantically as I sat up in the bed, ready to run and look for him myself.

"Bella, how are you?" Carlisle's voice startled me. I looked up at him surprised.

I gestured to my throat, trying to tell him that it was burning.

"Yes," he nodded, smiling at me as he stepped towards my IV and injected something in there. "That's what happens when you are out and about, talking and crying too much when you should be resting," he said looking at me in a scolding manner.

_How could he be worrying over me when Edward could be dying?_ I thought as I looked at him with a furrowed brow.

"Scott's here. He arrived a few hours ago and hasn't left the waiting room for his opportunity to see you. He'll be in shortly." Carlisle said, surprising me. He took in my expression and then smiled, "I'll send for him right now. Maybe it'll help since you both know sign language and you _really_ shouldn't be talking right now."

I nodded absently. My thoughts whirled in my head, keeping me distracted. That was, until Carlisle stepped into the room with Scott not far behind him.

"Do you know how worried I've been?" he asked me as a greeting as I stared at him blankly. I had so many questions and not enough answers...

_How long have I been in the hospital?_ I signed to him and he sighed in frustration, obviously hating our form of communication.

"You've been here since you got here from the school parking lot. Do you know how worried I was? I came here as a surprise and in turn, I'm the one who is surprised when I find out that you're in the hospital. You fell asleep again after being found in the courtyard. That was Friday and today is early Sunday morning." he told me and I began to cry.

He looked at me, worry beginning to seep into his expression. I glanced over at Carlisle who had been observing us quietly and raised my hands up shakily.

"Ask her how she's feeling," Carlisle told Scott as he observed my reactions.

_Like shit. I hate the rain. It was my fault. All my fault._ I signed to Scott and he sighed as he looked at me anxiously.

"No, Bella." Scott said. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." he told me quietly and I felt my breath become shallow as his words processed in my head. I couldn't even ask him if Edward was alright. His words were enough of a confirmation.

_Then it was just a dream,_ I thought miserably and the tears came hot and fast. Sobs shook my body as I curled up into a ball in the hospital bed and cried my heart out. He was really dead.

"Bella, calm down." Scott tried to soothe me but I just continued to cry. My throat burned everytime that I sobbed and I could barely see anything but the blurry bright lights of the hospital room as Scott's and Carlisle's rising panicked voices filled the room.

"It's all my fault!" I shouted as I cried into my knees, Without thinking, I ripped out the IV out of my arm and all of the other wires of of my body. "They're dead. They're all dead," I cried and shoved against Carlisle's and Scott's hands as they tried to push me back into the bed and calm me down.

But there was so much pain. It echoed in my body like the loud rings of a church bell, encompassing me. My throat burned and hurt but then again, everything hurt.

"Bella, Bella, Bella." a familiar velvet voice rang clear over the haze of my cousin's and doctor's voices. I locked gazes with Edward. And this time I was sure he was a ghost. He was dead. "Bella, calm down." he whispered as he grabbed my arms and pushed be back into the bed but I fought against him.

He pulled me into his chest and even though he felt so warm, I didn't register it. _He was dead._ The words kept on rolling around in my head, teasing and taunting me.

"Kill me. Please," I begged quietly. "Please," I cried into his chest as he held me to his body and pinned my arms to my sides as he hugged me. _I want to die so I can be with you. I love you._ I thought miserably as I continued to cry into his chest.

"No, Bella." he whispered and I froze when I felt a tear drop land on my cheek. I looked up slowly and warily. "No." he told me firmly with pained green eyes.

"Ghosts aren't supposed to cry?" I said it like a question and he looked at me startled.

"I'm not dead, Bella." he looked at me carefully. "And you're not dead either. We're both in the hospital."

"Why did Scott say he was sorry then?" I challenged. "The last time he said that and I woke up, it was because my parents were dead. He said he were sorry, I am sitting in the hospital, and you collapsed in my arms in the parking lot. You're dead." I said, nodding to myself for confirmation of all of the things that had happened.

"I made a deal with your therapist, Bella. I was supposed to stay away to give you space so that you would heal. But then I come back and you're in a hospital." Scott spoke up behind Edward.

"You what?" I shouted, angry now.

"Now, Bella, calm down. All of this is not going to help you heal. And if you don't stop then I'm going to have to ask Edward and Scott to leave the room." Carlisle spoke up, looking at me sternly. I nodded reluctantly but glared over at Scott.

I glanced over at Edward warily, wondering if he was really here. He smiled at me, and as if reading my mind said, "I'm really here. I'm doing better. And you aren't going to die. Don't ask me to kill you because I won't let you die much less let someone else cut you out of this world before it is your time to die."

I looked at him blankly for a while, trying to gauge his sincerity on his first words. I was still dubious on whether he was really alive or not.

"He really is alive, Bella." Scott spoke up. "I'm sorry if I scared you but Edward is fine and alive. He's healing as much as you are."

I tried to wipe away the tears this time when they fell. I didn't want to lose any moments with Edward now that I was partially sure that he was alive. He wiped my tears away and hugged me tightly, quietly reassuring me that he was fine and that I was safe.

I reached up slowly and warily touched the side of his head. The last time I really saw him, he had been bleeding so much. Had he healed over magically?

My question was answered when my fingers came in contact with a bandage on his temple. He winced but smiled bravely at me, trying to downplay his pain as I looked at him sadly. He was stil healing. But he was alive. And that was all that really mattered right now.

"You're fine," I smiled at him and tenderly brushed his hair to cover the bandage. I blushed when he smiled back down at me. "You're safe."

"And so are you. But you still need to answer my question," he told me, his eyes once again serious. I looked at him confused.

"What?" I asked him curiously.

"Why didn't you move?" he asked me and I froze in my bed, looking at him once again wide eyed.

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**A/N: I hope u guys enjoyed it. Plz review :D I enjoyed writing this chapter and was having a bit of trouble ending it but there you go :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Its been a while and all and I'm sorry for the wait :/ But don't let me stop you guys! Read on and into the thirteenth chapter of one of my favorite and most prized stories :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Twilight characters.**

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Chapter 13:

Tears welled in my eyes and I bowed my head, looking away from his penetrating gaze. I wanted to, so badly, tell him. But my throat was dry and my body was exhausted. And my arm was bleeding from ripping out the IV from my arm. The tape had ripped off some of my skin with it and no one seemed to really notice it until I winced from the pain and pulled my arm to my chest.

"Christ, Bella! You're bleeding too much!" Scott jumped to his feet and grabbed my arm gently in his as they all hovered over me.

Carlisle quickly got to work and disinfected the wound before wrapping it up in a bandage.

The laugh escaped me before I could stop it and the tears streamed down my face.

"Bella, what the hell are you laughing at?" Scott demanded, rather harshly.

"I just can't stop hurting myself, can I? Its like I almost do it on purpose," I mumbled and reached up to wipe my tears as I turned my body into Edward's still avoiding eye contact.

"Bella?" Edward whispered anxiously as I continued to cry quietly. Carlisle hushed him and told him to let me rest and urged me to not speak anymore and rest up.

But I knew by the way that Edward hugged me protectively into his chest that this wasn't over. And when he pressed a kiss to my forehead, stopping my sobs, he was demanding an answer and it wasn't an option.

Because he'd risked his life for me. The least I owed him was that.

When I woke up two days later, Edward and his siblings were in my hospital room with a slumbering Scott in a plastic chair. Alice immediately updated me on everything even though they all looked anxious for answers.

"Bella, the school is raving about the accident. Tyler is sorry and everything but everyone's spreading rumors," Rosalie spoke up.

"They're saying that you had enough time to move out of the way but you didn't." Jasper added and looked at me anxiously.

"They're saying that you're suicidal," Emmett mumbled.

I stayed silent under their prying gaze.

"And they're calling Edward a hero." Alice chuckled a bit.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply.

"Bella," Edward linked his fingers with mine, wanting me to answer the question that was still reverberating in my head since the accident.

"Many of my therapists..." I croaked as I sat up hesitantly and tried to swallow through a dry mouth. "They say that I am unstable under the rain. I freeze up," I whispered and looked down at my lap where Edward's fingers were intertwined with my own, "and I can't move because..."

I wiped away the tears with my free hand and smiled at how ridiculous this all was. It didn't seem fair somehow. I wanted to get this weight off of my chest and talk about it yet that was the one thing that I wasn't able to do. My voice was weak just like my body and soul had become after my parents' death.

"Because it reminds me of the night that my parents died." I mumbled. "I can see all of the blood and the water. And I can feel myself drowing once again. And I... I can see their faces."

They stayed silent.

"But you had time to move, Bella. We yelled for you." Edward said and tightened his hold on my hand when I moved to retract my hand from his.

"And I was going to." I insisted in a hoarse whisper.

"Then why did you look like you gave up?" Rosalie demanded tearfully and I was surprised when she raised her head to see that my friends all had tears in their eyes.

"Because I was so ready to die. I've been ready since I was dragged out of that river without them." I whispered tearfully.

"Well, what about us? I thought we were your friends," Jasper demanded, startling me. I felt my eyes well with tears as I took in his hurt expression.

"I don't know how I feel anymore because of you guys. You guys are the first people who haven't judged me for what you've found out about me. It gives me hope. But I'm not supposed to live with that. You can't have hope and guilt in the same body. A guilty person isn't supposed to be shown the rays of light." I mumbled as I continued to cry quietly.

"Rays of light?" Rosalie asked, confused.

"I have eight. Scott never gave up on me. And he was the first to show me hope after I was abandoned by all of my friends and family," I whispered. "And then I met all of you guys."

They stayed silent as they took in my words.

"Then live. We will always stay by your side, Bella." Alice sobbed quietly.

"We never thought that you hurt this bad. But if we are somehow helping," Jasper shook his head to himself and wiped at his tears as Rosalie continued his sentence, "then we want you to keep trying."

"You've become family to us, Bells. And I don't want to lose a little sister." Emmett said though his own silent tears.

I choked on my tears and smiled up at him, catching sight of movement behind him. Scott raised his hand to lower the hat on his hand. But that didn't stop me from catching sight of his own tears as he bowed his head to continued on with his charade of sleeping.

"Kids, its time to go eat." Esme appeared in the room, smiling at me through puffy red eyes. It was clear that she had heard our conversation and had shed some tears herself. "Oh, Bella! You're awake. I'll call Carlisle."

And she quickly left the room to escape my own smiling, tearful gaze.

"We'll see you soon, Bella." my friends said and all hugged me one at time, careful with my injuries before they left the room.

_"And I don't want the world..._

_to see... me_

_Cause I don't think that..._

_They'd understand..."_

I sang under my breath as I was left alone in the room with my "sleeping" cousin. There was a melody in my head, and the words slowly came out of my mouth. I quickly reached for a pen to write the words down.

I was at a loss when I realized that I had no paper around. I bit my lip as I realized my dilemma.

"Here, Bella." Scott's voice startled me.

I looked up to see him holding a napkin out to me, smiling at me through his own blood shot eyes. I smiled back up at him and quickly wrote down the words and melody in my head before they managed to escape my grasp. I knew that I would have to run this by Edward but I really wanted to go off of this if it was possible.

I was just glad that I had the support from my new friends and family. They would always be there for me. Now all I had to do was not give up on them.

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**A/N: Thnx for reading guys! Please review and give me some feedback! What do you think? Any questions? I know I was crying while writing this. Then again I am a bit emotional :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So, its been a while... a really, really lone while... sorry for that guys. I've been sidetracked a lot and I've been putting a lot of things off lately. Posting up the chapters being one of those things. But I've been writing so that's good haha. I hope you guys like this :)**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. And she totally rocks it! \m/^ .^ \m/ haha**

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Chapter 14:

The days passed and I was finally able to return back to my home with the Cullens. The surgery had been done and over with but I had yet to really use my voice. Carlisle assured me that after the first week I could be able to start talking little by little.

But I was scared. What if it hadn't worked? My case was a rare one and I couldn't my entire faith on this one surgery.

But it had been Carlisle. A man that I saw as a "father" and who Scott respected. We both respected him. He'd given me so much in a matter of a few weeks. And I had doubted him in the beginning based on previous experiences. Not all doctors were the same.

Carlisle was proof of that.

"A half note there. Drag it on... like this," Edward mumbled as the both of us sat on the piano bench in the music room in the house, trying to set up the finishing touches to the song. He played the melody quietly, humming the words lowly and blushing when I stared at him.

"What do you think?" he asked me quietly and I smiled. He grinned when I gave him two thumbs up.

"Well, you came up with most of it." He smiled warmly at me and I blushed in response, waving him off and turning to look at the revised music sheets. It was the first time that I'd written music since the accident and Scott was beaming when I'd showed him the progress we'd made before he had to leave two days after my surgery.

"How are you feeling?" he asked me quietly and I shrugged. "Bella," he admonished gently and I smiled a bit, looking down at the black and white piano keys.

_Worried_, I wrote on the music sheets and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Why? This song is great. We'll be ready for the showcase." He smiled at me reassuringly and I smiled back at him but shook my head. "Its something else, right?" he asked me and I nodded.

I gestured towards my throat, looking at him nervously.

Not having really been able to raise my voice, I hadn't been able to really speak with any of my new family members. So they hadn't been able to speak with me or even really hear my voice like it had once been.

"You'll speak when you're ready, Bella." He assured me. "It'll be fine."

I gave him a look clearly telling him silently, _you don't know that._ I hated it when people made promises that they couldn't keep.

"You'll do it when you're ready, Bella." He smiled at me and I smiled back.

"Bella, dear," Esme called, entering the living room, "its time for you guys to do your homework."

"We are doing our homework, mom." Edward whined and I rolled me eyes good naturedly at me making me smile.

"Well, you need to work on the tests that you have next week," she replied. "Emmett, don't think you and Jasper are going to get away with playing video games all week."

Emmett whined from upstairse, complaining about how Esme shouldn't even know about our finals for the semester. I hadn't been able to go back to school since Carlisle thought it would be a good idea for me to rest more after the surgery. My friends had taken it upon themselves to make sure I got my homework assignments.

And I did them here at home, preparing for the finals which I knew I would have to go to school for. Luckily, there was a piano at the house for me to practice with Edward on our piece. The lyrics that went with the words were left unsung, neither of us really sure of how we were going to go about it.

I knew that Edward should sing them for the showcase since he had a voice to project the lyrics but he protested that they had more to do with me than him. He was just here to stand by my side.

It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, his words. I still hadn't been able to tell him that I loved him. Not only was I unable to raise my voice yet but I was too much of a coward to try. He had supported me just like his siblings and family had from the very start. And yet I had fallen in love with him. One of my rays of hope had stood out from the rest and had made me feel so differently under his beautiful verdant gaze.

We studied in a circle later that night after eating dinner. I was finishing up on some study guides while helping Rose on her english final which was on a book. _The Outliers_ was a great book and had caught my attention even though she found it incredibly boring. It was about success stories, she'd told me vaguely. But I'd managed to read one chapter and it had caught my attention. How a person's birth date could affect their success as an athlete was fascinating and something I had never even realized or considered.

But the facts were there.

She had to know all of the details of the book from cover to cover. And I was helping her with her study guide, pointing out things that I was sure would help her memorize the details better.

"What did you get for this one?" Edward asked me, pulling my attention away from the white board that I was using to communicate with Rose. I looked over at him to see that he was looking at me with nervous eyes, looking between me and Rose.

And I realized that he was asking me on Biology. Something that never happened. Edward was intelligent and was quick about his work. As his lab partner, I knew that and he never really needed my help on the labs that we did but he made sure to include me and make me participate in it all.

Then I realized that he was nervous because he knew that I knew this. And he was afraid that I would most likely call him out on it.

I peered over, looking at the question on the study guide I'd finished before starting in on my Pre-Calculus study guide. I smiled and grabbed the Biology textbook before flipping over to the page I remembered finding it in. My eyes narrowed in on the paragraph before gently pushing the book back towards him.

He looked at me and then back down at the text book, nodding and looking at me thankfully when I gestured towards the paragraph.

That was another thing. We'd been getting more and more closer. And even though no one spoke about it, I knew that my new friends were curious about it. _It_ being my reaction in the hospital when I'd been sure that Edward had died in my arms and that I'd conjured a hallucination of him to comfort me when I woke up.

When I'd pled for him to kill me because I couldn't stand it.

I smiled back at him before turning back to Rosalie, shifting on the floor where we were all sitting and pushing back the memory of those days. I exhaled shakily as I wrote, tensing a bit when Edward shifted next to me so that our knees were touching.

"What about the hours of practice? That could be any number, Bella!" Rosalie cried, drawing my attention back to her. I smiled a bit and opened the book, flipping through the chapters but quickly finding the answer to her question.

"You're really good at doing this stuff. You should be some sort of teacher, Bella." Rosalie smiled at me. I shook my head bashfully and looked back down at the white board by my Pre-Calc text book.

"What was it that you want to be when you grow up, Bella?" Alice's question startled me and I was surprised to see them all staring at me. I blushed but frowned a bit before shrugging. "Come on, Bella. You must have had something you wanted to be." She persisted.

"Yeah," Emmett nodded in encouragement.

"Maybe a lawyer like your dad," Jasper spoke up, looking thoughtful.

"Or a professional musician," Rosalie spoke up. "You and Scott are great at writing musical peices and songs."

"Or a university professor," Edward said.

"Yeah! Or maybe even a singer. I heard you have a great voice," Alice beamed at me as they all guessed at what I'd wanted to be.

I smiled a bit but shook my head once again, looking down at my white board with a small frown.

"Hey," Edward whispered gently, "we didn't mean anything by it. Sorry if we did something-"

I shook my head at him again before leaning down to scrawl quickly my thoughts before I thought about it and decided to not answer them at all. Ms. Gavelstone, my therapist, had encouraged me to try and be open with the Cullens. And I had been trying my best.

_I can't really remember much of what I'd wanted to be_, I wrote before showing them and they look at me in confusion.

"You didn't want to be anything? What did you want to be after you finished high school?" Emmett asked me quietly and I hesitated before erasing my words and deliberating my next ones.

_I didn't think I'd live that long or this long, really._

They frowned at the words, exchanging glances amongst each other before looking back at me.

"Bella, did you know that me and Jazz-man are adopted?" Emmett asked me, startling me with the odd question.

I nodded but then shrugged, telling him silently that I'd never thought much of it.

"Ali, Rose, and Edward are adopted as well but they're related by blood with Esme and Carlile while we're not." he continued silently, looking at me intently.

"I never really knew what I wanted to be when I was little because I never got the chance to think. My parents abused me throughout my childhood. And by the time that I made it to the safety of a foster home, I was already broken. Now, don't think I'm comparing myself to you. My family never wanted me and I couldn't be more happier than to be rid of those monsters," Emmett said quietly, his voice taking a dark tone I'd never heard. "You miss your parents. I don't."

I nodded, not knowing where he was going with this.

"Well, I'd say I had the same thoughts as you have right now. I didn't think I'd make it out of that house or that lifestyle ever. I thought I would die after one of my father's beatings. But I didn't. I'm here. And you're here too. You _have_ lived this long. And we aren't going to let you continue to put yourself down. We're here for you, Bells. I see you as a little sister. You have to know that." He said, looking at me in earnest.

I bit my lip, not sure of what to say or write.

"My story is very alike with Em's," Jasper spoke up, saving me, "but the difference is that while Esme found him in the foster home and adopted him, Carlisle saved my life in the hospital. My parents died when I was just a baby and I was put under the care of my grandfather. He was abusive and loved more than anything to leave marks on people."

His voice took an odd tone at his last sentence and I swallowed thickly at his words.

"They weren't my choice but I have scars on my body because of him." Jasper said, rolling up the sleeve of his sweater and showing me some sort of burns on his forearm.

I looked up at his eyes before turning to back to my white board and editing the words.

_I didn't want to live this long. These were my choices._

I slowly rolled up my own sleeve and showed him the scars on my own forearm. They frowned as they looked between the words and my scars. It was obvious that I had tried to commit suicide.

I pulled my arm back and away from the gazes, wiping away the tears from my eyes and smiling a bit.

_Scott helped me stop. And he checks my arms every now and then to make sure I didn't get any new ones_, I wrote before showing them and they frowned.

"What did he do to stop you?" Edward asked quietly, clearing his throat and I looked down at the white board.

_He wrote a song for me. To help us cope._ I wrote and they looked at me curiously.

"Could you play it?" Alice asked me quietly. "Is it on the violin or the piano...?"

I nodded towards the piano room and we all walked quietly towards the piano. I sat on the bench, not having really played in a long while. I knew how to play a few songs but didn't consider this as one of my favorite instuments.

I loved the piano of course but I could never put as much emotion into it as I could using my cello or violin. I hesitated, knowing that I couldn't sing the lyrics but then remembered that they had already heard the song because Scott had played it repeatedly whenever he stayed over. It was a way of keeping me from straying and helping me cope.

It was our way.

The notes filled the air slowly and I played deliberately, letting them figure it out by themselves as I continued.

"That was the song he was playing at the hospital," Edward realized.

"The song from your blue folder," Rosalie noted and I nodded in agreement with them.

"What was it... the lyrics?" Alice asked me and I frowned a bit but was pleasantly surprised when Edward began to murmur them quietly as I played.

"_As he begins to raise his voice_

_ You lower yours _

_ And grant him one last choice_

_ Drive until you lose the road_

_ Or break with the ones that follow._"

I could feel the emotion overwhelm me as he sang the lyrics quietly. The truth of the words was too much but we continued well into the next verse and chorus.

_"He will do one of two things_

_ He will admit to everything_

_ Or he'll say he's just not the same_

_ And you'll begin to wonder why you came_

_ Where did I go wrong?_

_ I lost a friend_

_ Somewhere along in the bitterness_

_ And I could have stayed up_

_ With you all night_

_ Had I known _

_ How to save a life..."_

"Your parents fell off the road, didn't they?" Rose asked when I stopped playing abruptly, not able to continue with the notes or able to hear the lyrics. I nodded quietly and wiped away my tears, pulling my hands away from the piano.

"Off a bridge and into a lake. It was raining," Jasper said, realizing my fear for rain suddenly. They looked at each other with dawning realization.

"And Scott jumped in," Esme's voice startled us as she entered the room with Carlisle. "He was driving behind you guys."

"He pulled you out of the car," Carlisle said and I clenched my jaw but nodded.

"And you guys had to leave your parents in the car," Edward said quietly and I nodded once again, wiping at my eyes.

"You can't blame Scott for it, Bella." Emmett began to say, jumping in to defend my cousin. "He couldn't have chosen when all of you were drowning-"

"I don't," my voice startled me and I looked down, realizing quickly that my voice was at a regular volume. It had been so long since I'd truly heard it and I could see their eyes widen with surprise. "He didn't choose. My mom was dead," I continued, "and my dad... he chose. He made Scott promise to keep me alive and safe."

"Then you should help him keep that promise," Edward said, grabbing my hand in his and squeezing it tightly. I smiled up at him, nodding quietly.

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**A/N: Please tell me what you guys think! Thanks for reading :) I'm so relieved I was able to get this chapter up. I'll try my best with the timing on the next one haha. Until next time, guys! Bye :D**

**-Eli**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: So, here we go! I'm happy to present you the next chapter to Free to Live, Free to Love. I'm not sure how many stories I'm working all at once but I'm determined to keep up on this one :) I hope you guys enjoy so READ ON haha**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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Chapter 15:

"I heard she's suicidal." Jessica Stanely whispered to Lauren Mallory as Jasper and I walked down the halls. The week of finals had arrived and I'd been forced to go back to school to take my tests.

The Cullens had supported me and even though I didn't speak much after first speaking again, I did speak a little bit every day.

Standing next to Jasper, I knew those little comments bugged him more than anything. And he'd explained to me why: after being taken in by Carlisle and Esme, he'd been rumored to be high school after going to school for the first time because a kid had seen the scars on his arms after Jasper had naively left his arms uncovered. He'd thought that he wouldn't be judged.

But people always judged. They always had to throw in their two cents.

"It doesn't matter," Jasper muttered, trying to convince himself more than me. I'd gotten used to staying silent while rumors were spread about me. What choice did I have? Speak up and faint? No thanks.

I looped my arm through his, silently agreeing and he nodded down at me.

"Tell us if you need anything," he told me quietly as we entered our history class together. I smiled at him and nodded again, taking my seat and mentally preparing myself up for the test. The hour passed by quickly and I hunched over in my seat, focusing solely on my test before sighing in relief when I finally finished.

I walked up to Mr. Yourman's desk and handed in my test and answer sheet. He smiled at me and quietly told me that I could read. I smiled and nodded, thanking him quietly.

"Actually, can I go to the library?" I asked him, startling him. He looked up at me surprised before nodding and smiling at me. I smiled back at him and smiled over at Jasper before I left. He simply nodded back in return.

I hummed along the way, trying out the old warm up that Renee, my mom, always helped me on. Sighing, I stopped when my throat suddenly went dry.

Dejectedly, I walked to the library and checked out a book before going back to Mr. Yourman's and sitting down at my desk with my book in hand. I read quietly until the class ended and then Jasper and I were walking towards my English class where I was whisked off by Edward and Alice.

"How was your history final?" Edward asked me and I smiled at him.

"It was easier than I expected," I said and he smiled at me, glad that I was speaking.

"We should go shopping today," Alice said suddenly.

"But you shopped for me two weeks ago," I said and she frowned at me.

"But I want to go shopping again. Please," she pouted.

"I'm not driving," I said and she immediately turned her pout to her defenseless brother. Edward was caught off guard and shot me a glare as he began to argue with Alice that he didn't want to go shopping.

"Please, please, please, please, _please_ Edward!" She whined and he glared ahead, deciding the best tactic was to not look her in the eye.

"No Alice."

"Please."

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"With a cherry on top?"

"I hate cherries."

"Me too!" I said, surprised to find another cherry hater. You didn't find them much. Alice glared at the both of us as Edward smiled at me.

"Well, a strawberry then," Alice said, changing tactics. "I know that you certainly love strawberries."

I looked between them confused when I saw them exchange looks while Edward suddenly blushed. It was surprising. I don't think I'd ever seen him blush like that.

"Bella, do you know why he loves strawberries?" Alice asked me suddenly and I stopped when Edward suddenly stopped walking.

"No." I said, shaking my head.

"Shut up Alice and I'll drive you to your stupid shopping trip," Edward glared at his sister.

She giggled suddenly and I looked between them, confused. It seemed that I was missing something in their exchange. Was this an inside joke?

"Alright. Come on Bella. We wouldn't want you to be late to your english final," Alice said, tugging me along.

"I feel like I'm missing something," I said and saw them exchange looks once again before looking away suddenly.

"Its nothing, Bella. Don't worry about it," Edward assured me and I looked at him suspiciously.

I was startled when he pulled me to his side suddenly.

"Are you worried about your Pre-calc final?" he asked me and I was suddenly side tracked by the question as my head filled with the equations and examples that I'd memorized from my notebook. I was always thorough about my notes and this was the one final that I was really worrying about.

Well, Pre-calc and the showcase of our song.

"Yes," I answered simply.

"You'll do great. Don't worry about it," he told me quietly and I smiled.

There was still the question of the showcase and whether or not I'd be able to sing the song. We needed to prepare.

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**A/N: How was it? Good? Bad? There is more to come and I am totally working on all of these relationships going on haha. Please REVIEW! **

**-Eli**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: So I don't know if you guys read my profile update today but I don't know when I'm going to be able to update. On a happy note, here's the latest chapter! I hope you guys enjoy :)**

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Chapter 16:

It was nearly five hours of walking from store to store with my friends that Alice finally conceded to taking a break. We headed towards the food court where we all got different foods. I ended up sharing chili cheese fries with Edward and Emmett. I hadn't even managed to finish half before I let Edward and Emmett share. I watched as they cleared that large plate and leaned back in their seats with satisfied smiles.

"Pigs," Alice said, scowling at them.

I giggled when Emmett belched suddenly.

"I'll take it," I said, telling the guys that I would take the trash. I pulled the plate away from Edward before he could protest. "You bought it for us. The least I could do is take it," I said and he shook his head as he smiled at me.

"Fine," he conceded.

I smiled before grabbing the plate and my cup of pink lemonade, figuring that I could get a refill on my way over.

I sipped at my drink as I threw the trash away before heading over to refill it.

"So is that your boyfriend or what?" a male voice asked me. I looked up, startled to see a guy with dirty blond hair and hazel eyes smiling down at me. He was tall. Like, really really tall.

Maybe he was into sports...

I blushed and pointed to my throat, trying to tell him that I couldn't talk.

"Look, sorry if I'm coming off as creepy or something but we both know you can talk. I saw you talking to him over there," he said and I knew he was talking about Edward.

"My throat's sore," I admitted. "The ice helps," I said, gesturing to my drink and he smiled suddenly.

"Well, I'm sorry about your throat." He said sincerely and I smiled politely. "My name's Ryan."

I looked at his outstretched hand warily before shaking it.

"Bella," I said briefly and he smiled widely.

"What a beautiful name. Did you know that your name means-"

"Beautiful, I know. Italian. There's no need to flirt," I said, clearing my throat a bit. "I'm not interested, Ryan."

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Well, you just stole my thunder." He said, looking put out.

I laughed, turning to refill my drink.

"Well, your boyfriend is glaring at me so I can see you're already taken." He said with a shrug and I looked at him confused.

"He's not," I said, shaking my head and he smiled again.

"But you like him." He said and I blushed. "Its alright. I have the worst luck with girls. What do ya say about making him jealous?"

"That'll be awkward." I said, turning to frown at him. I was startled when he suddenly leaned forward so that his mouth was at my ear.

"For who? Me or you?" he asked me and I blushed.

"Ryan," I cleared my throat, warning him as he lingered.

"You smell like strawberries, Bella." He said with a wide grin as he pulled away.

I blushed bright red as I looked at him as Edward and Alice's conversation from school came to my mind. He looked at me confused and I jerked my hand back when I realized that my cup was overflowing with pink lemonade.

"What?" he asked me curiously.

"Nothing," I said as I turned to clean up my mess and grab my drink. "Nice meeting you, Ryan."

He only smiled at me and suddenly grabbed my hand before shoving a paper in it. I looked up at him confused.

"My number. You know, in case you need any help in getting your boyfriend jealous again. I'd be glad to help you, Bella." He said with a wink. I looked down at the paper, blushing when I saw he'd put a winky face there next to his number.

I turned away from him and went back to the table with my friends.

"What was that about?" Jasper asked me.

"Drink," I said with a shrug.

"And who's that guy?" Edward asked me abruptly. I looked up at him and saw that his hands were clenched into fists on his thights as he sat tensely next to me.

"Ryan," I said shortly but suddenly blushed as I remembered the strawberries comment.

"He was pretty cute. What did he say?" Rosalie asked me with a wide smile.

"Wait. What did he give you?" Alice asked me, probably noticing the small piece of paper that I still held in my hand.

"Your new friend is calling you," Emmett chuckled and I turned to see Ryan leaving with a group of guys.

"Bye Bella! See you soon!" He said and winked. I blushed and turned away, not knowing what to say as I sipped at my drink.

"What? You're going on a date? When?" Alice said, surprising me.

I choked inhaled sharply and began to choke when I realized that my drink went in the wrong way.

"No!" I shouted, glaring at her suddenly.

"What? Why not?" she asked me and I huffed before grabbing my drink and walking away angrily.

How could I explain to her that I was waiting for Edward? I loved him.

"Bella, wait. I didn't mean to make you mad," Alice said suddenly as she ran up to me.

"Not your fault," I whispered, shaking my head at her. It was mine. I wasn't brave enough to ask Edward out. I didn't have the courage to tell him that I loved him.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked me and I realized that all of my friends had come up to us. I smiled half heartedly and nodded. He didn't seem convinced but he let it go, looking less tense than he was before.

I pondered that and though back to the piece of paper that was still in my hand.

_"You know, in case you need any help in getting your boyfriend jealous again."_ I crossed my arms in front of my chest as I remembered Ryan's words. How odd.

But was it true? Was Edward jealous?

And if he was, why? He had nothing to be jealous about. He didn't even like me.

"I want to go home," I said, confused from the thoughts that were whirling in my head. All of this wasn't possible.

"Sure. I think we've indulged Alice enough." Edward said, agreeing immediately. He glared sharply at Alice when she began to protest. She huffed but fell silent before mumbling her agreement.

Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me forward. I looked up at him and smiled. I sighed contently, feeling whole with the connection that our hands made. I followed him, knowing that I would follow Edward anywhere. It wasn't cheesy or something that I was just thinking in the moment.

It was the truth.

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**A/N: So how was it? Go on and click that button down there and review. Tell me for yourself. What did you think about the chapter? Ooooh, what do you guys think about Ryan? Haha, I'm such a tease ;) lol**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Its been a while guys :/ sorry about that. But as a reward for your longstanding patience for my antics, I give you chapter seventeen! And if you still love my story and are anxious for more, I updated doubly. So after reviewing, you can go onto Chapter 18 XD**

**Enjoy! lol**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I just love writing.**

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Chapter 17:

Edward had been acting odd ever since the week of finals ended and the last two weeks of school resumed. These two weeks, they'd told me, were just to hang out at school as well as for the teachers to prepare us for the classes that we'd most likely be taking the next school year.

My voice had been getting better and better.

I was practicing as much as I could but only when I knew that no one was around. I wanted it to be a surprise.

At the moment, I was singing _Flowers For a Ghost_ by Thriving Ivory. It was a beautiful song and I loved the piano that went along with it.

I'd walked to the park, telling Esme that I would walk around and be back in time for dinner. No one really came to the park and so I was grateful to be able to use it to practice.

_You disappear with all your good intentions_

_And all I am is all I could not mention_

_Like who will bring me flowers_

_When its over?_

_And who will give me_

_Comfort when its cold?_

_Oh._

_She took a plane_

_To somewhere out in space_

_To start a life_

_And maybe change the world_

_See, I never meant for you_

_To have to crawl_

_No, I never meant _

_To let you go at all_

_Oh no, oh no._

_Don't ever say goodbye._

_See, my head aches_

_From all this thinkin'_

_Feels like a ship God,_

_God knows I'm sinkin'_

_Wonder what you do_

_And where it is you stay_

_These questions like a whirlwind,_

_They carry me away_

_And I said who will bring me flowers_

_When its over?_

_And who will give me_

_Comfort when its cold?_

_And who will I belong to_

_When the day just won't give in?_

_And who will tell me how it ends_

_And how it all begins?_

_Oh Ohh, oh love_

_Yeah_

_Don't ever say goodbye._

_I'm only human_

_I said I'm only human_

_I'm only human_

_I said I'm only human_

_I'm only human_

_I said I'm only human_

_I'm human, I'm human_

_Ohhh_

_Yeah ooohhh_

_Yeah, yeah_

_Oohh_

I clutched my hands to my chest as I let my voice carry off in the wind. I smiled to myself, laughing a bit when I realized that my voice was fine. I could project it well.

"You didn't tell me you could sing," Ryan's voice startled me. I exhaled sharply as I whirled around to see him smiling softly at me.

"You didn't ask." I said with a shrug.

He smiled back then.

"Did you write that song?" he asked me, looking genuinely interested.

I shook my head. "Thriving Ivory," I said, telling him the name of the band.

"You have interesting taste in music." He noted.

"Always loved music," I said with a shrug.

"Can you sing another?" he asked me and I blushed as he sat down on the park bench, looking up at me eagerly.

I considered singing the song Edward and I would be working on but thought better of it. It was _our_ song.

"Any song," he assured me and I smiled a bit. "If you can, of course. I don't want you to hurt your throat."

I raised my hand up to my throat. It was a bit dry. But I was still flying high from the realization that my voice was getting better.

_And do you ever feel like you're alone?_

_And do you ever wish you'd be unknown?_

_I could say that I have_

_I could say that I have_

_And do you ever feel things here aren't right?_

_And do you ever feel the time slip by?_

_I can say that I have_

_And I can say that I have_

_So hear this please_

_And watch as your heart_

_Speeds up endlessly_

_And look for the stars_

_As the sun goes down_

_Each breath that you take_

_Has a thunderous sound_

_Everything, everything's magic_

_Just sit back and hold on_

_But hold on tight_

_Prepare for the best_

_And the fastest ride_

_And reach out your hand_

_And I'll make you mine_

_Everything, everything's magic_

_And do you ever lay awake at night?_

_And do you ever tell yourself don't try?_

_Don't try to let yourself down_

_Don't try to let yourself down_

_And do you ever see yourself in love?_

_And do you ever take a chance, my love?_

_Because you know I will_

_Because you know I will_

_So hear this please_

_And watch as your heart_

_Speeds up endlessly_

_And look for the stars_

_As the sun goes down_

_Each breath that you take_

_Has a thunderous sound_

_Everything, everything's magic_

_Just sit back and hold on_

_But hold on tight_

_Prepare for the best_

_And the fastest ride_

_And reach out your hand_

_And I'll make you mine_

_Everything, everything's magic_

_Everything, everything's magic..._

_So hear this please_

_And watch as your heart_

_Speeds up endlessly_

_And look for the stars_

_As the sun goes down_

_Each breath that you take_

_Has a thunderous sound_

_Everything, everything's magic_

_Just sit back and hold on_

_But hold on tight_

_Prepare for the best_

_And the fastest ride_

_And reach out your hand_

_And I'll make you mine_

_Everything, everything's magic_

I opened my eyes and was startled to see an audience of parents and children along with Ryan. They clapped loudly and I blushed, thankful that they'd loved it as much as I loved singing it. _Everything's Magic _by Angels and Airwaves. It was a favorite song of mine.

"Thanks," I said and giggled before bowing graciously.

I was startled when it suddenly began to rain.

"Your boyfriend's here. Should we make him jealous again?" Ryan asked me but I was frozen. The rain soaked through my clothes and I stood frozen and breathless, unable to do anything but watch as my audience quickly dispersed and headed for cover.

"Bella?" Ryan looked at me in confusion when I didn't answer and I couldn't do anything but stare ahead blankly.

"Bella!" Edward's velvet voice shouted and my body jerked, my immediate reaction being panic because he was panicking. "Stay away from her," Edward shouted at Ryan before picking me up in his arms and leaning forward so that I wouldn't get as wet as much. "She isn't yours," he snapped at Ryan.

"She's not yours either." Ryan snapped back as I shifted in Edward's arms, relieved that I was finally able to move. "Bella, I'm sorry. This guy's a prick. Why don't I take you home?" Ryan asked me kindly all the while glaring at Edward.

"She is home." Edward snapped at him. "And she isn't going anywhere with you."

"Don't fight." I sighed quietly.

Edward looked down at me as he picked me up bridal style in his arms and I didn't fight him as he pulled me close.

"She isn't your girlfriend. You have no claim over her," Ryan snapped at Edward. "What makes you so special? Nothing!"

"What makes you special then?" Edward snapped at him.

"Bella can choose to be with me if she wants. That's all I'm saying. So don't go around, pretending to be something to her that you aren't! She isn't your girlfriend, man. She's single. Which makes her available." Ryan continued and I felt Edward tense.

"Piss off. I'm warning you now. I don't know you but if you hurt Bella, you deal with me." Edward said angrily.

He walked us away and quickly but carefully set me in the passenger seat of his Volvo before putting on my seatbelt and rounding his car. I shivered as he peeled out of the parking lot and turned in time to see Ryan smile widely up at me.

I realized a little too late that he'd done all of this on purpose, said all of those things to rile Edward up. I turned to see Edward seething as he sped away and realized that Edward was once again jealous.

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**A/N: Alright, so there it was!**

**Songs from the chapter: Flowers for a Ghost - Thriving Ivory**

** Everything's Magic - Angels and Airwaves**

**Please review! I love you guys :D**

**-Eli**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: So here we go. I'm pumped, lol. Chapter 18, people! Tell me what you think :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. At. All. It all belongs to the lovely Stephanie Meyer. And I am eternally grateful for her creativity.**

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Chapter 18:

"What were you doing with him there?" Edward asked me suddenly as he parked in the driveway of our home.

"We didn't meet up. Coincidence," I said as I shivered. He leaned over to the back seat and pulled out a towel. I thanked him quietly when he handed me one and took the other.

He sighed as he leaned back in his seat.

"Do you like him?" he asked me suddenly.

"Does it matter?" I retorted, looking ahead and away from his intense gaze.

"Yeah. It does to me." He said.

"Why?" I asked him, turning to look at him. "What does it matter?"

"It matters because I like you!" He said so quietly that I could barely hear him. "Bella," he prodded when I fell silent, "do you like him?"

"He's only a friend." I said with a shrug.

"That doesn't answer my question. Yes or no," he huffed impatiently.

"No. I can't like him," I said with a tight throat. I sighed, realizing that I was getting choked up. I wiped away my tears before they could fall.

"Why not?" he asked me softly.

I shook my head. What could I say? That I loved him. I didn't want to pressure Edward. I didn't want him to tell me that he loved me when he didn't. He liked me and I loved him. I was in love with him. But I was too much of a coward to tell him that or even ask him _how_ he liked me. I didn't want to hope. This love that I had for him, I knew it would be one-sided.

"It isn't possible for someone to want me. Ryan is just a friend," I said finally. "And that's all he'll ever be to me."

Edward stayed silent and I took that as my cue to leave. I trudged through the driveway and puddles that had formed from the rain that had already stopped. I opened the front door and entered the house quietly, feeling tired.

"Bella, dear," Esme smiled before looking at me with wide eyes. "Honey, you're wet! Go and get dried up," She said, pulling out a towel from no where and settling it over my shoulders to try and warm me up and dry me.

"I'll be back," I croaked and she smiled at me, watching me ascend the stairs and head to my room. I changed quickly before heading down stairs.

I walked through the school parking lot with my friends at my sides. Emmett was telling us random jokes.

"Alright, alright," Emmett chuckled as he finished another joke and started a new one. "What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert?"

I shrugged, not able to come up with anything. What the hell was a penguin doing in the desert anyways?

"What?" Alice asked eagerly.

"Lost," he said and I smiled before laughing along with the rest of them. It was so stupid because it was obvious. And so true!

"Bella!" a voice shouted off in the distance, pulling my attention away from my friends. I heard our peers murmuring around us and looking at me with confused yet curious expressions on their faces. My eyes widened when I caught sight of Ryan walking towards me from across the parking lot.

"Hey," he grinned at me when he finally reached me and my friends. I smiled back politely yet shyly as well.

"Good morning," I said quietly, proud that I was able to talk at a somewhat normal rate without hurting my throat nowadays.

"I just transferred here." he told me suddenly and I smiled at him. "I feel like a fish out of water, though." He said and looked around at our peers, realizing quickly that everyone was looking at him or the both of us.

I giggled, finding it odd for him to say that when it rained so much in Forks.

"Ryan, these are my friends," I said when I saw Jazz and Em appraising my new friend. They had become like older brothers to me and we'd bonded over our pasts in an inexplicable way. "That's Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Edward, and Rosalie," I said, gesturing to everyone.

I didn't miss how Edward stepped closer to me and grabbed my hand. I smiled up at him and he seemed to relax a bit, squeezing my hand in return.

"So _you're_ Ryan?" Alice smiled widely and I glared at her sharply.

"Yeah. Did Bella tell you about me?" he asked, seeming to get overconfident.

"She didn't have to. Thank you for helping," Alice said with a grin.

He seemed startled by her answer and glanced back over at me, wanting to know if she knew about his efforts. I simply shrugged and he chuckled a bit.

"Well, it was nice meeting you and all but I'd like to steal Bella from you now," he said and extended his hand out to me. I felt Edward's grip tighten on my hand and could feel the tension in his body.

"I, uh, was kind of already," I began to say, politely declining his offer but stopped talking when I looked up and caught his gaze. He was looking at me intently and realized that he was smirking a bit. He was doing it again, I realized, making Edward jealous.

I swallowed and sighed noisily before pulling away from Edward and walking past Ryan, ignoring his offered hand altogether.

"I'll see you guys in a bit," I told my friends as they stared at me in shock. "I wanted to talk to Ryan before class."

"Yeah," Ryan smirked over at Edward, "_talk._"

I rolled my eyes and waved goodbye to my friends before smacking Ryan's arm when we were out of earshot.

"Ow! What was that for?" he hissed back at me, pouting playfully.

"I figure that since we're already familiar enough for you to make disgusting insinuations about me that I can smack you." I hissed back and he grinned then.

"You're fiesty." he noted and I groaned aloud.

"Look, I get that you're trying to help and all but I seriously think that you're wasting your time. He doesn't like me that way," I whispered heatedly as we walked off towards the History building where his first class was. He handed me his schedule, staying silent as he processed my words. I glanced over his schedule before handing it back to him.

"How do you know?" he asked me finally, making sure not to say any names since we obviously had some people eavesdropping in on our conversation.

"Because he told me!" I snapped at him and huffed when I felt tears of frustration well in my eyes. "I love him and he can't-" I began to say but he cut me off.

"Whoa, whoa! Hold your horses, beautiful. When did this happen?" he demanded and I huffed, feeling more and more frustrated.

"It was two days ago. You know, after you and him nearly got into a fight?" I prodded and he nodded before looking at me curiously.

"What was that about, by the way? You just suddenly froze up," he said and I frowned at him, not wanting to delve into my obvious issues. With one answer, two more questions popped up.

"That's not important," I said, willing him to drop it. He raised his hands up in surrender, letting it go and smiling amiably at me.

"Well, you need to tell me. Verbatim." He demanded.

"Not now. Class is about to start," I pointed out and he huffed, irritated.

"Fine. But I'm not letting this go. We need a plan," he informed me and I only nodded, waving goodbye to him and rushing off to class. This could not end well. Edward didn't love me. There was no point for Ryan's scheming anymore. Or was there?

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**A/N: So whaddaya think? I'm sorry for teasing you so much :P Not really. haha But I still love you guys! So give me some love and review! I know its way early but its still within the month so Merry Christmas! I might not get a chance to say it later. Maybe, maybe not. But I'd rather do it now than not at all. I'll try to keep updating once a month as had been my usual thing**

**-Eli**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: I don't want to keep you long but I was going through all of your wonderful reviews and caught some questions that I wanted to address. I might not get them all because I'm partially distracted at the moment but here goes... **

**-NO, Bella will not die. I hate it when main characters of stories die. And if I did kill her, I'd probably write a creepy sequel of some sort where she came back as a ghost to look after Edward. Why? Simply because I can't stand it when main characters die. And then it would be dumb for me to write a sequel like that without involving the supernatural which is not the way I wanted this story to go. This was one of my first attempts at writing an "all human" story. Its been difficult because with the supernatural, you basically get free reign to do what your imagination. (Sorry, I'm ranting)**

**... On with it! haha **

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Chapter 19:

I avoided Ryan for as long as I could. It was during his second week, on a Wednesday, that he finally caught up to me. And there was no helping it when he grilled me about my talk with Edward when I didn't even want to touch the subject.

Edward and I were as good as could be. I could feel my heart break every time that we were close. But I'd rather have it slowly break when we were close than to completely be without him. I would take what I could get.

"Are you serious?" Ryan shouted at lunch when I finished telling him.

"Shh!" I hissed, smacking him and looking around to see if anyone had heard us. There was no one around or paying any attention to us. We were outside of the cafeteria in a spot out of sight.

"Are you serious?" he repeated in a heated whisper.

"Well, I'm not lying." I said, getting irritated with him.

"No. Geez! How can you- ugh!" he groaned, not making any sense with his incoherent sentences. I frowned at him, muttering for him to say what he had to say. "The both of you are so dense!" he snapped at me and I frowned at him.

"What are you talking about? How am I dense?" I asked him, getting defensive now.

"He said he liked you!" he all but shouted at me. "He didn't mean it as a sister, Bella. He _likes you_. Don't you understand? He told you," he said with obvious frustration.

"No," I shook my head, glaring at him for even trying to give me hope. It was false hope. Edward had made his case clear. He said he'd liked me as a sister. He couldn't see me as anything else.

"Alright. Well, since he doesn't like you, be my girlfriend." He said suddenly and I gaped at him.

"What?" I choked out.

"I love you, Bella." He said, looking completely sincere. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"I," I choked out, feeling overwhelmed suddenly, "I can't. I'm sorry. I love him. I only love him."

I could help it. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I ran away from him. I pushed back my tears. Ryan had become a good but pushy friend of mine. And I couldn't help but think about how he was doing this out of pity. And he didn't even know me. What would he think once he did? Once he found out everything?

I pulled up the sleeve of my jacket and stared at the scars along my left forearm.

"Bella?" Jasper's voice startled me.

I looked up and away from my scars, locking eyes with his anxious gaze.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked me and I burst into tears then, unable to hold them back. I immediately felt his arms wrap around me and pull me off to the side so that we didn't draw attention to ourselves when the bell rang, ending lunch.

I wrapped my arms around him, hugging myself to him as I cried in his chest while he tried to soothe me. But my mind was whirling with thoughts and accusations, making me cry more and more.

"Don't tell them," I whispered to him when I began to settle down.

"What can I tell them? Why were you crying? What happened?" he asked me quietly, silently coaxing my eyes up to meet his.

"Its stupid," I brushed it off.

"You haven't looked like that in a few weeks, Bella. I need to know what happened," he said tensely and I frowned, trying to avert my eyes from him but stopped when he said my name sharply.

"I just... I've been anxious." I said, figuring that I would give him half-truths. "Please, don't-" I began to plead for him to leave this in between the two of us.

"Bella?" Edward's voice came from the side. "Jasper, what happened? What are you guys doing?" he asked him and I pleaded to Jasper with my eyes but he was frowning. I suddenly felt his presence there behind me and I curled into Jasper, wishing that my heart could stop breaking everytime Edward was close by.

"Bella's just tired," Jasper said, clearing his throat as he hugged me back and offered me some comfort.

"Do you need to go home? I can take you," Edward offered after nervously clearing his throat.

"Yeah," I nodded after a tense silence fell between the three of us while they waited for my response. When it came out, my throat seemed dry and I stiffened knowing that it sounded just as if I'd been crying. I closed my eyes and sighed, knowing that the questions would be coming.

"I'll be in the car waiting," Edward said, his voice subdued. I only nodded.

"Look, if you just need to talk, we can." Jasper said, hugging me tightly before pulling away and looking me directly in the eyes. "We're all here for you, Bells."

I nodded, smiling at him.

"Bella!" Ryan called and I stiffened. "Look, I don't know what I said. But I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you run off. Hell, I didn't know that I was so repulsive," he joked and I frowned.

It wasn't him who was repulsive. He had it backwards. I was the one with issues and scars. How did he not know? How could he think that he was the repulsive one?

"Bella, why don't you go on with Edward? I wanna talk with Ryan." Jasper said, squeezing my shoulders and bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Where are you going with him?" Ryan asked me suddenly.

"Its none of your business, Ryan." Jazz snapped suddenly, looking furious but restrained.

"It is. Bella's my girlfriend!" Ryan shouted furiously back at Jasper and I looked at him in confusion, not remembering agreeing to his proposition. Jasper glared at him and I heard a tinkling clatter behind me. I turned to see Edward standing away a few feet with his keys on the ground and I looked at him with wide eyes.

"I'm taking her home," Edward said finally.

"I can take her. Are you sick?" Ryan asked me and I turned to see him approach me. I frowned up at him, yelling at him furiously with my eyes. His smirk dropped and he sighed, hugging me suddenly. "You'll thank me later," he whispered in my ear before kissing my cheek and pulling away.

I stepped away from him and picked up Edward's keys from the ground, waving goodbye to Jasper who was looking between me and Ryan. I grabbed Edward's hand and put his keys inside it before pulling him towards the parking lot and away from the spot which he seemed to be frozen to.

"You said that he was just a friend," Edward finally spoke as he drove us home. I stayed silent, knowing that I had told him that.

"He said he loved me," I said finally, feeling tired.

"And you love him back?" he demanded, seeming to get angry. "Bella?" he demanded when I didn't answer.

"He knows that I don't love him and-" I began to say, ready to tell him that we weren't even a couple and that Ryan was lying but he cut me off.

"And you let him kiss you?" he demanded. "Since you lied to me the last time, tell me now. Do. You. Like. Him."

"I wasn't lying!" I shouted angrily.

"Then why is it that you're with him now?" he retorted and I snapped.

"We're not together! I don't like him, I don't even love him! I love someone else and he can't see me as anything else. He told me so. Ryan knows it and thinks we're both idiots," I said angrily before realizing what I'd just told him.

"You love someone?" he choked out and I looked down at my legs, refusing to look at him.

"Yes." I said quietly.

"For how long?" he asked me and I frowned, not understanding how he could not see it.

"It doesn't matter. He doesn't love me back," I said with a sigh.

"And you told him that you loved him?" he asked me.

"Well," I sighed, thinking back and realizing that I hadn't, "no."

"Don't you think its fair that he knew?" he asked me quietly, seeming reluctant with his words. I looked over at him in confusion.

"How do I tell him?" I asked him and saw him shift in his seat, looking uncomfortable as he parked in front of the house.

"You're asking me?" he choked out, clearing his throat quickly.

"Yeah." I nodded, wanting to know this.

"Well, when you kiss someone it can mean a lot of things. Tell him that you love him that way." He said finally.

I looked over at him, meeting his sad gaze.

"A kiss?" I asked him, wanting to be sure that I'd heard right.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Oh," I whispered and the thought popped into my head as I stared at him. I bit my lip nervously and quickly pulled myself together before I lost my nerve and leaned over. I grabbed Edward by his shoulders and pressed my lips against his before he could react, pouring all of my love into the kiss.

He moaned into my mouth and pulled me closer to him, pulling me on top of him so that I was straddling him in the driver's seat.

"I love you," I whispered, gasping for air when I finally pulled away from my first kiss. "I'm in love with you, Edward," I reiterated.

I pulled back, realizing that I wasn't getting anything from him. He looked at me in shock but stayed completely silent.

"God," I groaned, scrambling back towards the passenger seat, "don't say anything. _Please_ don't say anything."

"Are you serious?" he croaked, finally saying something.

I didn't answer and it only seemed to anger him some more.

"Bella," he said sharply. "Look at me." He demanded.

I bit my lip and pushed back my tears as I turned to look at him in the eye.

"Did you mean it?" he asked me and I swallowed thickly before nodding. "Well, this is good. Its not a dream," he whispered, grabbing my hand in his and running his thumb over my knuckles.

"Why would it be a dream?" I asked, confused.

He sighed and turned to me, pulling me closer by tugging on my arms. I didn't fight him but looked at him warily. He now held my heart in his hands. Of course, he had always held it but he hadn't known that he did. But now he did.

"Because it always seemed too good to be true," he whispered and I began to pull my hands back and away from his, confused. He held them tightly, refusing to let my hands go. "Because I love you too Bella. I am in love with you."

Well, now _I_ knew that this was a dream.

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**A/N: haha! so whaddaya think? I remember writing this and I was like, **_**I am so evil.**_** Well, give me your thoughts and opinions :) And I will see you again at the end of the week, thanks for reading :D**

**- eli**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Twilight.**

**A/N: So as I promised, here is the end of the week's update. The semester's up and my load has lessened considerably so I think I might be able to update more. Except, that I still need to tie loose ends for this story :)**

**But don't let me hold you guys back, I hope you enjoy Chapter 20... on with it!**

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Chapter 20:

"W-what?" I choked out, not believing my ears.

"I have been in love with you since the first week that you came here. Of course, I couldn't do anything about it. I would have settled with taking care of you. But I love you too much." He told me sincerely and I felt the tears spill over when he pulled me close and pressed his lips against mine.

"But you said you liked me. As a sister," I gasped, shaking my head and still wondering if this was really real. Was this possible?

That Edward could love me back?

"No. I was trying to tell you that I loved you but thought better of it. I didn't want to rush your feelings if you didn't love me back or even like me like that. I just," he groaned, unable to continue.

"I don't want you to hold your feelings back from me Edward," I said, grabbing his face in my hands. He smiled crookedly at me and I smiled back.

"I won't," he shook his head and pulled me close, kissing my forehead.

I smiled and leaned up to kiss his chin.

"Come on," he prodded and we walked inside the house hand in hand. He prepared me a sandwhich to eat before he pulled me along to the piano room.

"What are we doing here?" I asked him, confused.

"I heard you the other day. You... Bella, I don't have the words," he said with a smile as I blushed profusely.

"Sing for me. Please," he looked at me pleadingly. I raised an eyebrow at him and sat down at the piano bench with him, thinking of some songs that would be good to sing. This would be the first time that I would sing to Edward.

I smiled to myself and gave it some more thought.

"There's no pressure, Bella. I'm not picky. Please. I just want to hear your voice." He said and I snorted but smiled, grateful for his considerate words.

_I'm holding onto white balloons_

_Up against a sky of doom_

_Tell me you see them_

_Cause what's inside of me is invisible to most_

_Even in clear view_

_I'm sending out a signal to the possibility of you_

_Cause right at this moment_

_I know you're connected to a part of me_

_But I don't even know myself_

_The changes in my_

_Are likely to be in the weather_

_Stormy and clear, strength into fear_

_Bound together_

_But I'll break my silence_

_If I believe that you and me _

_could ever be more _

_Than just what's behind us_

_I tried and left_

_They came and went_

_I got rejected out again_

_But no one believes me_

_I've worn a hundred faces_

_Of the character replacements_

_And now_

_Nobody sees me_

_The changes in me_

_Are likely to be in the weather_

_Cloudy at best..._

_Angels lift me_

_Are you with me?_

_I'm holding onto you like I'm holding onto white balloons_

_Carry me away_

_I hope that you don't break_

_Angels lift me_

_Are you with me?_

_I'm holding onto you like I'm holding onto white balloons_

_Carry me away_

_I hope that you don't break_

_I hope that you don't break_

_Don't break_

_Cause what's inside of me_

_Is invisible to most_

_Even in clear view_

"Why didn't you tell us you could sing like that?" Rosalie's voice startled me. I whirled around, startled to see all of the Cullens gathered at the doorway of the piano room.

I blushed.

"I've been practicing," I said quietly. "I wanted to sing with Edward at the showcase."

They all turned to look at Edward but he was looking at me with wide eyes and something that looked like awe in his expression.

"So you were just going to catch him off guard?" Emmett asked me, smiling widely.

"That was the plan," I nodded. He snickered and grinned.

"It would've been an awesome surprise," Carlisle said and I chuckled. "So, what brought this on?"

"I asked her to sing," Edward said when I blushed.

"But wait. How did _you_ know?" Alice asked, looking between the both of us suspiciously.

"Its complicated," Edward and I said at the same time, not really want to get to talking about Ryan.

"Does it have to do with your boyfriend?" Jasper asked me and I frowned at him when everyone whipped their heads around to look at me with wide eyes except for Edward.

"He's not my boyfriend," I said, shaking my head at him.

"That's not what he said." Jazz protested.

"Again, its complicated." I said and they all looked at me curiously except for Alice. She smiled and squealed suddenly before hugging me tightly.

"I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!" she repeated over and over again and she pulled me in her arms, hugging me tightly and nearly squeazing my breath out of me.

"What? What are we missing?" Carlisle asked, looking between us as I blushed.

My face darkened when I felt his presence behind me. And then Edward was wrapping his arms around me.

"We're together," he said simply.

"Yes! Finally!" Rose shouted and tackled me down in a hug and catching me off guard.

"This is awesome! When did this happen?" Emmett asked us as he hugged Edward with Jasper and Alice. And then they all moved in on me. I laughed as they all hugged me at once.

"Well, technically last week but..." Edward trailed off, not knowing how to continue.

"We had a misunderstanding," I finished and he smiled at me.

They congratulated us and we eventually settled down. And then we realized that Esme and Carlisle were standing in shock at the doorway, looking between me and Edward with wary eyes.

"Why are you guys quiet? This is good news," Alice whined.

We watched as they shared a look before frowning and turning to me.

"We're going to have to talk to Scott about this," Carlisle said grimly. My smile almost immediately fell off of my face at his words.

One thing that Scott had tried to keep me out of was a relationship. He told me that he was afraid that someone would use me for what I would be inheriting in a few short months rather than getting to know me. He'd fended off guys for years now and had been more of an overprotective brother than anything.

And knowing Scott, he'd probably think the worst of Edward and demand for me to move. Or he would probably transfer me to another school. Or he would come and pick me up. Or he would forbid me from seeing Edward.

"Bella, love?" Edward's worried voice was faint and I realized that I wasn't getting enough air. I couldn't breathe.

And if this was how I felt now, I couldn't imagine being away from Edward.

"Bella, we'll be fine. Scott will be fine. I'll talk to him. Don't worry," Edward said, grabbing my arms and pulling me into a hug.

"N-no," I shook my head frantically. "H-he'll m-make m-m-me m-move!" I gasped.

"No, he won't love. Everything will be fine." He said. And the tone of uncertainty had me breathing harder. And as I began to hear Carlisle's frantic voice, black spots began to appear in my line of vision.

_Oh shit._

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**A/N: So... how was it? haha you know what to do... press that glorious button down there and give me a review. Whether your have an account or not doesn't matter, tell me what you think!**

**- eli**


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